This girl and I have had some sort of relationship for almost close to about 4-5 months if you were to put it all together. At first she completely back stabbed me, she was scared it was with a controlling manipulative guy at the time. SO I completely cut her off for almost 3 months. Well I've been talking to her a lot lately. She likes me still, and I really like her. It went on for a little while and she said she couldn't do this anymore and that we needed to stop talking.
When she told me this I went cold. It felt like she died to me. I didn't talk at all to anyone the rest of the night. and I went to bed at like 8...(very odd for me lol) I kinda said that I couldn't dwell on it. I tried not to think of her but it was all I could do.
She wanted to have some sort of middle ground, not being together but being friends. I told her that I seriously didn't think I could do that. It would have to be together or gone. I couldn't keep going up and down emotionally before I snapped. As of right now I think that we are close.. she's said that I "get her better than anyone else ever has. I've looked passed her shell that she puts up for other people and can see who she actually is."
I just don't know what to do. For one her mom got a job and might either be mover to NYC or closer to where I live. and she won't move. I just don't know what I would do if she moved. Eventually I would get over it but it would be hard, and I don't think I would ever FULLY do it.. I don't want to be wasting my time either tho...I also don't think I could be in a more stable relationship with someone else and feel the same. I've NEVER felt like this before.
Therefore I would think that she may be feeling a lot of conflict about "settling down" right now. Probably thinks she should live that "shell" life to satisfy her personal life goals. NP I would respect that. I don't respect women that want to fulfill some goal other than a relationship with me but don't want to commit to either. So they end up showing promise of moving forward with me then back to their mission (thus ignoring us) the back to us when she needs to get recharged, then back to her mission...so on so on. I have been through it with two women. I must know how to pick them!
So...It will definitely suck but you need to hook up with any good friends, cousins, or family. You should tell them you would like it if they could keep you occupied for the next few days and to please excuse your miserable (understandable) mood.
It sounds like you want to be friends. Don't keep it a secret from her, tell her that you don't want to talk to her for a few months. Hopefully she will respect your request for space. Figure out an actual friends night out to a mutual friend's event some months away. "see ya then"
I personally don't try to be friends with my ex's it just risks too many issues with getting over them and the next relationships for either of us. If I bump into them after a year or two I would probably be ok striking up a friendship but it hasn't happened. Yet.
It is ok to respectfully say "NO" to the "Let's be friends?" question.
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