How can I get my girlfriend to be herself again?

In your age range and in to our early twenties we go through a lot of changes that end up producing the person we will basically be for the rest of our adult lives, barring life-changing events. The girl you fell in love with is gone and as sad as that is, you need to accept it. You also need to accept that you cannot fix her. If she does not want to improve her outlook on life she will not change.

The best you can do is talk to her calmly but firmly and tell her that you love her but that her trust issues and her attitude are ruining your relationship. Ask her if she wants to change. If she does, give her some time to try. But more likely than not she will not be able to change while she still has the safety of being with you and the ability to argue with you and take out her frustrations on you. Chances are that you will need to move on and let her face this challenge on her own.

Oh, and as far as her past, well sorry but most people have been through breakups and sometimes those come from some bad to really bad situations. You either let that ruin the rest of your life or you choose to open yourself up to love again.

Probably she changed because she wants to make you happy and thinks that being herself will not please you and you will be disappointed .

It sounds like she needs some outside help. Maybe couples counceling would be good for her and you both.

sounds like she just needs to work on herself with her issues and insecurities. Just keep on complimenting her and tell her how you feel that she doesn't seem to be the person she use to be... see how that goes..

Wow, I'm sort of going thru the same with my BF. I don't trust him and am not myself anymore... The crazy part is, I 'm still me! I just don't feel like BEING me at the moment... Maybe there is something about you that is scaring her. Like, maybe she feels ike she's gotten too close to you too fast and is afraid of taking such a big risk. That's where I am.

My boyfriend is probably thinking I'm a nutcase right about now. I don't mean to ruin things, but we actually had a recent conversation that threw me for a loop. It was about the future.

It made me want to run away from him.

my boyfriend and I have mostly the same things,i don't know how to trust him/he cheated me b4
1st did you cheat on her b4?
2nd mayb she feels no protective with you
3rd she have no self confident
4th mayb she get hurts in the pass and can't overcome it and now she really love you a lot and scared that it would happen again.

it really hard to gain back a trust if you have cheated on her in the pass.. she will forgive bt its really hard to forget.all you can do is let her check all your things etc.hp,computer,bring her where ever you go,always tell her how important is she in your heart,msg or call her every time when you can and let her know what you're doing,listen bt don't get p*ss off about what she say,if you get p*ss off her thinking will go more negative..

My boyfriend and I are going through the same thing. I know why we are arguing though, but that is a different topic. Maybe she has something bothering her. Maybe she just doesn't know how to say it.

It could be something you aren't doing that she expects by now ( security in the thought that you are thinking of the future) or something that you are doing that she has asked you to stop ( like picking on her about something that she is sensitive about ).

If you are serious about her, I would recommend a promise ring. It isn't as much of a commitment as and engagement ring but (at least if that is the issue) she will see that you are thinking more in terms of future and not just present. If that is the problem she is having, she is less likely to talk about it because no good woman wants her man to feel pressured into a commitment.

Only 1 way to cure this.

Update her on whatever "major" stuff you're doing.

What I mean "major" as in where you going to buy stuff, eat with and so on.

This will get her trust.

When my high school girlfriend and I got to the end of school with college was soon approaching, she became distant and was very similar to what you are describing. She eventually broke up with me because she just couldn't handle the stresses of life: growing up, moving out of the house, starting college, AND having a serious boyfriend. (Of course she couldn't put that all into words at the time).

Two years later, she had worked "life" out and figured out what she wanted. We started dating again and were married less than a year later. That was ten years ago and we are still loving life together.

There is a quote that goes something like "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." Perhaps you need to give her some space and time to figure out what she wants.

I think you guys just hit sort of a plateau and there needs to be time for this to heal or she really needs to develop some confidence.

Hmm, this is normal, its called the end of the honeymooning period.
During the honeymooning period sex is better, both try hard to make things work, both tread carefully and its all love, hugs, presents, flowers and things that are new and exciting.
Once your both past this stage things settle down and seem boring.
It sounds like she has left the honeymooning period and you are still in it.
Under 18, anything can happen from there, she may be just going through a tough patch at the moment.
Talk to her, ask her if she sees a future with you, tell her you won't take offence (and dont) and that she needs to tell you what is going on and why she is becoming more and more distant.
Your a young couple, don't be surprised if she just feels she isn't ready for a relationship (yep even after all that time) because she may feel she needs to make changes in her life to steer it in the right direction.
That's my thoughts anyway.