What's the number one thing....

Just tell him. If he really likes you, he'll stick by you - if he dumps you, he's not worth it and you deserve better.

I don't think you should try to get a guy super attached to you. I realize you may be falling for him, but you really have to let things develop naturally. If the feeling is mutual and he is in love with you of his own volition and not simply stuck on you via manipulation or your attempts to get him "super attached" then you will be able to share openly whatever you need to share. If the attachment is somehow forced or manipulated and not completely internal to him then the bond will be unstable. Be forewarned though, that regardless of his feelings for you, he may find some issues simply too much. I understand you are trying to prevent a potential heartbreak, but you really can't. One thing you may want to consider is just getting it out in the open early before you get any more attached to him and before he gets any more attached to you. That way you both will be going forward with your eyes wide open, and if he does fall for you there will be a much lesser chance of him backing out because your health problem because he already knew about it.

Be upfront with him and say, "I like you, but I think there is something you should know about me. ... If you think that is a problem I understand. It will hurt my feelings, but I understand."

Good luck and God bless.

I could understand not saying anything on the first few dates, and wanting to say it "gently" but beyond that, I have to agree with the others, absolutely tell him. Have a little faith in him. He's not going to run screaming from you. It would be understandable if he didn't want to get too emotionally invested, but if he sees something in you he'll at least want to be your friend. Also, the idea of someone possibly dying in the future can be a little abstract when it comes to attraction and attachment, and would be unlikely to directly affect it that heavily.

Unfortunately there if no "number one this I can do to get my man super attached to me" regardless of one's motives.

If you want a real relationship with him you should tell the truth and don't deceive him.

AHHHHHHHH an ethical dilemma!

Quite the predicament, old chum.

Seriously, tell him, and he stays with you till the end, if love is there for REAL. then it would be worth it for both of u, but for him, his heart would be so twisted in the end that it will be probably the most traumatic experience in his life. and that in itself is reason to back out if you tell him ur condition and that you are dieing or whatever. but if he stayed with u, then it means more than just words and the fact that he cares about u, he cares about you for you, no other reason (alas, life isn't a fairy tale but sometimes sh*t does happen and goodness comes about)

Tell him and he leaves: well he did the "right" choice in protecting himself from future harm, but I'm sure he would sympathize with you and be ur friend if he actually cares for you and the time and effort you have both invested into eachother.

Dont tell him and see howit goes, lieing to him for so long (or short) would still create a lot of hurt for him in the end... realtionships are about trust and commitment to each other and honesty... you would be breaking that "bond" pretty much not telling him (that is if you both totally trust each other enough to actually SHARE your feelings and what you are thinking, and etc.. Deep stuff... if you aren't that kind of people then I guess live and let live... whatever that means. :D

i think I covered the basics, so its either hurt him, or don't hurt him. Honesty --> 50% 50% chance of him backing out/staying/letzjusbefriends... goodluck sounds like a tough one

Wow, there's an awful lot of insensitivity going on here. Please, ignore comments like "you're selfish" or "cut him loose" and listen to more sensible ones like "put yourself in your boyfriends shoes".

If you are ill and facing uncertain conditions its really important that you acknowledge that your condition doesn't precede your feelings. In other words, your illness does not disqualify you from pursuing a relationship and expressing your feelings.

To have feelings for another person isn't selfish. But to try and construe a way to have this person remain at your side through all things considered is a bit far fetched. In your shoes it may seem like a necessity - finding a love that will sustain itself through a troubling and undeniably trivial time for you.

My advice is to proceed with your life as it is. Tell this guy how you feel, tell him what you are faced with, and try to work it out WITH HIM. Relationships are always about two individuals working together.

Live presently, because life only exists in the present. When we live based around some pre-conceived future we are living for moments that don't exist.

I highly reccomend you read the book Power of Now by Eckhartt Tolle. He's a bright guy, and he has tapped into some very basic things that we tend to overlook - especially in the most trivial and difficult times in our lives.

I know this is hard thing to read and accept but you need to tell him as soon as possible.

Imagine case where your medical problem is come to the point that it is certain that you will die and you two love each other, have started serious relationship. I presume that in this hypothetical case then you would tell him that you gonna die. What then? How you presume that he is gonna take the news that you have lied to him the whole time? For what? Why? Can he be even sure that you haven't lied about your feelings? Can you imagine the emotional devastation that would wreck in him?

You must tell him about your situation. Your feelings towards him and your medical problem. As some one pointed out, he must make his own decision if he is willing to take the risk and be with you even if it might mean that he will lose you. Would you deny that from him? What would you want if things were reversed? Would you want your boyfriend to hide his medical problem and possibility that he might die? How would you feel in that situation?

I'm truly sorry if my text is harsh to read and sounds cruel. But in my opinion so would be your actions if you withhold information.

I think you should tell him BEFORE he gets too attached. It sounds like you're already close and if you think he likes you and wants a relationship, now is the time. Why get him SUPER attached to where he can't live without you if the harsh reality is that he could lose you? He really needs to know now so he can assess if he can or wants to deal with something like that.

you sound kind of selfish

@Your Update - I'm sorry to hear that, how long were you together and what did he say about breaking up?

yeah that's f'ed up. I'd be p*ssed if someone started a serious relationship with me and didn't tell me if I might lose them.

I think you should just tell him about your medical condition and see how he reacts. You don't know how he'll feel, but you're better off being upfront about it than springing it on him later on. Imagine how you would feel if you got attached to him and he told you out of the blue that he had a serious illness and he could die, and that he knew about it the entire time you were together. It's not exactly lying, but it's not being honest either.

I don't agree with the people who are saying you're being selfish though, you just want the relationship to work--that's what everyone wants. The only difference is that you're in a situation that most people aren't in.

What exactly is your medical condition? Is it necessary to tell him?

First off that's not fair to him to make him fall in love with you then tell him you're gonna die. If he truly likes you and cares about you then he will stay with you till the end. He needs to fall in love with you for who you are not by you doing stuff to make him fall in love. That would just be like a guy not being himself untl you fall in love with him and then him telling you that he has 6 months to live, yes you would look at it that he I will make the rest of his life the best ever but you would also feel betrayed that he couldn't tell you the truth up front and let you decide your feelings on your own.

you should just tell him...i have my family illness and it could kill me to...my man knows and he's still there...if he really loves you then nothing will make him leave...its hard to have conversations like this with someone but I told him right when he asked me out to keep the feelings out of it...i didn't wait because its not fair to them...and if you love him that much then his feelings should come first

i don't think there is any miracle action you can do to make somebody immediately attached to you. but your health is your personal business, it is not your responsibility to tell anyone. so unlike what others have said on here, that you are being selfish, I'm advising that you take your time. when you feel comfortable telling him, then go for it. when you feel like he won't vanish, then break the news to him. good luck.

First, I am so sorry that you have to deal with that. You are in my prayers.

Secondly, I really can't tell you what to do, and neither can any of us. We aren't or haven't been in that situation. *IF* I were in your situation, I can only imagine that I would want to tell my partner as soon as I knew I could trust them.

Thirdly, I want you to think about something though. If you are going to die, is it fair to get someone attached to you? I don't mean that sarcastically or meanly. I mean to make you think of things from your boyfriend's point of view.

Once again, I really can't tell you what to do. I would honestly feel betrayed if someone tried to get me attached just because they were dying. I'd like to think they loved me enough to let me do that on my own. I would also want to be trusted and know what is going on as well.

Don't be manipulative.

Be honest with him. AKA disclose your medical problem as soon as possible. Why would you want to hurt him like that? It sounds like you want him super attached to you just because you feel that you could die? Life is not a romance novel. I know it sounds really sweet and awwww but this is real life, don't play with that man's emotions just to suit your needs.

You should be honest with him. If he leaves you because of your illness then he was never in love with you and it wouldn't have worked anyway. It may be shallow for him to leave you once he finds out about your illness, but what's the word for plotting and scheming to make a guy fall in love with you in case you die or not? Just let the relationship go naturally and take it's course.

AWW..y don't you just tell himthe truth?