She cheated, hurt me a bit, I dumped he , but she still loves me.

I am so sorry...Try not to blame yourself..She was obviously unstable...not your fault..honestly..this will be hard for you to deal with for the rest of your life probably, but you did not do this to her; even though you feel like you did. She did this to her..remember her, pray to her, forgive her, and move on with your life,..you will eventually. I do really feel terrible for your loss and it will get easier..Don't believe it is your fault, if you can...I wish you all the best

I think it's very humble of people to forgive in these situations. It doesn't mean you are going to give her a second chance. But why carry around a grudge? I know, I've been through something horrible and found the will to forgive.

Reading the update: Man, that's horrible. I'm sorry for your loss. I know it's something that can happen (feelings of guilt, etc), but it's not your fault. It sounds trite, but I wish you the best.

cheater will cheate again if they can get away with it.

If she loved you, she wouldn't have done that...

I run by a one strike rule. You cheat you're gone. I hold no grudges, but pull no punches. You made a choice. If you had issues with the relationship, you should have communicated them to me. If you liked this other guy, you should have left me first.

You cheat, you lose.

I've had two former girlfriends cheat on me. I forgave them right away, but that doesn't mean I had to overlook it. We're still friends and we hang a few times a year which is cool. But the rules are the rules, they knew the rules because I told them what they were when we declared exclusivity, and they chose to forfeit.

Do what you can to forgive her... but that doesn't mean you have to forget.

Ask yourself if you want to spend your life with somebody who you are not "into." Someone that, I'd assume based on what you said, you're a bit lukewarm about.

Personally, I'd rather be single and "eh" than dating, but not happy. I'd rather be single and "eh" than dating and "eh."

Also... she lives far away; you live far away from her; unless you become super possessive (not something I recommend) and you have the means to "keep tabs" then... can you really trust her to not do it again? and how can you trust her to be honest the next time it happens? Even if she moves in with you, moves to your town, that probably wouldn't destroy all the problems that led to her cheating. The problems would simply change. And even if she never cheated again (and I believe that once a cheater, always a cheater), she's already betrayed a deep area of trust in a relationship.

The best relationships tend to be built on trust about the big things - faithfulness, general honesty, commitment, etc. She hasn't really shown faithfulness, nor real commitment...

You should want someone you can trust not to do that. And if she's done it, she's proven she's quite capable of doing it again... and now she's probably put that doubt in the back of your mind.

That's something that I personally wouldn't want to doubt, but that's just me.

I'm not sure that anyone else can answer this question for you because it's a very personal issue and you know yourself best.

Just keep in mind that if you do choose to forgive her and take her back, you MUST be able to put this entirely behind you. You can't bring it up again or use it as a reason for getting suspicious about her and how faithful she is to you from here on out.

If this happened to me, personally, I would carry around those nagging doubts in the back of my mind and I would never be able to trust her completely as a girlfriend/wife again. I'd be ok with remaining friends but that's it.

If you CAN get over this completely, and if you're WILLING to get over this completely (think long and hard about it before making up your mind), then maybe you can take her back. Otherwise, I think it would be best to break it off now.

Okay let me declare you this:

There will be exactly two kind of people to answer to this question...

1) The kind who say "Cheating doesn't happen in ROMANTIC LOVE, so in fact she doesn't love you!"
2) The kind who say "Cheating is a mistake happened due to sexual needs, if you can, forgive her"

I am the 1-kind. To me I just cannot understand why people would cheat. Though as I'm still a virgin I don't know about sexual needs when really being in a relationship. However as I'm in love, too, I just think about this one person all time. I don't even look at others and I THINK if I'm madly in love with a person, I just wouldn't be able to cheat on that person.

To me cheating = break-up. It's just that simple. As it is in a long distance relationship on your side, it becomes even worse since this is THE fear in any LDR... How the hell should she built up her trust on you when she already cheated once? I don't know how I could ever trust her again...

Now I'm not actually advising you to break up with your girl, since this is your business. I'm just saying think about if you can trust her again!

On a sidenote - forgetting about a relationship that was long distance is FAR easier than forgetting about someone you see on a regular basis...


Sorry to not having comforting words on your problem... But I still hope I could be of any help :)