Current guy I've been exclusive with for a month or so (known him for 3 months) has been... indicating to me that he is possibly keeping me on the back burner. At the very least, he is still debating about how he feels about me / whether we'd make a good match / whatever... although we are "exclusive".
Nevertheless, I've been having serious doubts about our progression and have nearly ended things a number of times... not because I am not really into him but because it seemed he was not really into me. It doesn't feel like a "honeymoon" stage to me. I have kept things going because I figured that was a bad reason to end things... as I might have regrets. I figured I should have faith that if he really saw no potential he himself would end it.
Btw, I know it's still early on, but I haven't been seeing much emotional progression on his end.
Our mutual friend has been telling me that my guy isn't sure about me. He has conveyed to our friend that he is on the fence about me. But I know I need to hear things directly from my guy. A week or two ago, I approached my boyfriend, saying that for whatever reason, "I feel like I SHOULD know how you feel about me at this point but I still find myself wondering." He made some dumb excuse about work and him not being himself lately... and asked whether it might be that he's not too physical with me in public, because he is not the most physically affectionate person in general and hopes that's not making me think he is only half-present in this relationship we've been developing.
Things seem to have been getting better since that night, because he has been calling more and being more affectionate. So... at the very least... he seems to want to fix things. Last night I hung out with him. I was learning a new sport and the instructor at the place we were at was giving me attention. I had a load of fun and my boyfriend was really impressed with how quickly I picked it up, and after we left he basically attacked me in the car. When things started getting heated he suddenly said, "maybe I don't show you I like you enough, but I really like you" and at one point said "you're too good for me." I rolled my eyes and continued to make out with him.
Really... right now I'm just wondering what the second comment means! I feel like all of his statements have multiple layers. I KNOW he is not at the emotional stage where he actually likes me enough to believe I am too good for him, and I know he doesn't feel that way... so I'm taking it as a statement of reassurance resulting from my expressed lack of surety about his feelings. But I'm not a believer that anyone should say something that they don't actually feel :/ His comment didn't square well with me. Does that make sense?
It sounds like this is a fling, not a lifetime connection. Enjoy it for the duration, but keep your eyes open for the real deal. Save your heart, this is a heart break waiting to happen.
If you feel like he is being insincere look for other guys. I usually advise girls to play the field if their main pitcher is acting up. You're not married and he's not treating you the best so what do you owe him?
Okay ready. That answer would so not square well with me either. If I heard it ... it would sound a bit like a musical note that wasn't quite in the right key. He is assuredly sending you mixed signals. It seems as though he became intensely interested in you all of the sudden after the sight of another man finding you attractive. This is a warning flare for me. Send up the red flag when you see this one ladies. To me, this indicates that he is overly concerned with having a "trophy girl", or that he needs consistent reassurrance that you are worth his time and effort. If after three months of exclusive courtship, this guy is still "on the fence" about you ... I would tell him to fall off it and roll downhill to the next yard. I can't see any feesable reason in which he should still be conflicted over his true feelings for you. I suspect that deep down this guy already knows he is not being fair to you with his fickle behavior while you are being so honest and open with him; and that is the reason for the 'Your too good for me" response that sounded shrill and out of sync. I wish you luck and hope you meet someone who is more decisive. Be confident and don't be afraid to tell him you deserve better.
Wow... you have no idea how much you just clarified for me!! I think you're 100% right that he notices he is being unfair, while I am being honest, which explains the "you're too good for me" reaction. And I don't think he was really that into me solely cause of the other guy, but even so, he DOES seem to be looking for someone he can impress people with... :( - A month ago
Answerer
Hi... I am glad to have helped you. I hope you find someone who can be honest and not play childish games with you. Life is far too short to waste it playing guessing games. Move onto the next. Good luck! - A month ago
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When: A month ago
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