Girl I was seeing for a month has cheated.

wat do you mean..girl u've been seeing for a month has cheated?..in my opinion so did u..kissing other women while she was away..mhm nicely done..i don't know y ur mad at her when you did the same..but I'm on her side for this one because at least she told u,admitted it, and wants to start again..so my best advice is to probably start from scratch and forget that this happened

First off, to you, this was a casual relationship. In reality, she only cheated in her eyes. Is what she did really that bad if it wasn't a serious relationship to you? Why are you so hurt? Does she know you kissed other girls? Maybe, you also need to be forgiven. But, if this girl makes you happy, you like her, and she is genuinely remorseful, she deserves another chance. Can you see yourself in a long-term relationship right now? Maybe this kind of commitment is something she wants but you're not ready for. You both should have a conversation about you're relationship, if you decide to do so. So you can clear the air and you both know what the needs and expectations are of the other. And thus, issues like this, will not get in your way and nothing will stop you.

If you were not "exclusive" she did not cheat. I think you shoul remember, she did not have to tell you. She was open and honest with you and I only wonder if you had slept with somone while she was away... would you have been honest with her? Does she know about the kissing of other Women?

It happened, its over.. she wants only you... the decision is yours...
Good luck

So, how does one cheat when you were having a "casual affair"? She did not owe you anything. You do not owe her anything. Both of you were completely free to kiss others or have sex with others. That is what a casual affair is, NO commitment. I mean, you were kissing other women, and you did not see this as a relationship.

So, before you do anything, you both need to figure out and discuss if the two of you will go back to a supposedly casual non-committed arrangement or if the two of you are talking about a relationship. You cannot have your cake and eat it to. You cannot be with other women and then think she was wrong for being with another man. Do not be a hypocrite and treat her as casual for your convenience but expect her to treat you as her boyfriend or husband.

I think she thought of you as her boyfriend. Maybe she is confused. You guys should talk it out and ask what she thinks of the relationship you have because it seems like you know it's not an exclusive one, so you didn't take it serious nor let anyone know it was going on. She seems to have taken it to a different level which is why she feels remorse.

If you weren't in an exclusive relationship and it was casual then she can do what she wants. Honestly I think the only mistake she made was telling you in the first place. If you are exclusive and not together then you can't cheat in the first place. You sound hypocritical honestly because it's okay for you to kiss several girls but she can't sleep with one guy?

And how do you guys have different definitions of the relationship? She thought it was exclusive but you thought it was casual. Did she know you thought the relationship was casual? I wouldn't be "faithful" to a guy who didn't consider us in a relationship either.

you really need to decide if this is exclusive or not. one minute you're saying you didn't expect that it was, the next you're saying it hurt the she would do it and she has to prove herself. decide if you want an exclusive relationship (a good idea if you're having sex) and make it official so there's no misunderstandings or confusion. maybe she didn't realize she had so much invested in you emotionally until this happened (having what she thought was casual sex says something about her character). if you go exclusive, its going to be a lot more serious and involved and possibly with some drama if she's a mess right now.

That's hard to say. You two weren't in an exclusive relationship so really, she didn't do anything wrong. BUT she thought that you were exclusive and still did this anyways. Which shows when you are exclusive she might do the same thing. I would probably end it. It's been a month, easy to get over. A lot easier than in five years if it happens again. Yeah, she didn't do anything wrong but she though she did and did it anyways. And then tried to justify it by playing the pity card. Yeah, things may be hard for her, but she made a bad desicion and her making excuses to justify is shady. She should own up and take responsibility. I'd be done.

People make mistakes and you indicated that she is very remorseful. I think if you can truly look past it and start anew then consider it. You have an opportunity with someone who might hold good potential. I don't think you want to surpass this opportunity because you may regret it later.

I agree with Nimawhe on the point that if you decide to pursue it then you need to put great emphasis on the loyalty factor. Trust is essential in any relationship. Discuss this with her so it's clearly understood.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Make it work if you want to make it work. But if you do and faithfulness is a requirement then it goes both ways. You can't expect her to refrain from something you yourself aren't willing to refrain from. That's what I think.

i think she don't want to marry you and you are behaving like you are her husband,
may b she just want a short term relationship,
may b she's into you just 4 fun,
in any condition just talk 2 her and make it clear
if she don't want a serious relation then it's ok,
don't b sentimental, be a man.
have fun.

The problem is cheaters tend to cheat again and again. If some stress at home is all it took to drive her to cheat then she will be highly tempted to do it again no matter how good you are to her.

It sounds like you both cheated if either of you did. Or neither cheated. Depending on your definition. The real question is did you tell her you kissed several other girls? And ask yourself if you did/or did not sleep with them because of your relationships with her or because they did not give in to your advances.

I think you might be lucky to have someone so honest, because she told you something you would never have found out on your own. She should ask whether you are good enough for her.

Honesty is usually the best policy. So tell her that you kissed the other girls, and if she can forgive you, give it a go.

Good Luck,
James

From what you have said, I have to believe her. A cheat usually will not tell you if they are cheating. She seems to like you very much. I would consider continuing to date her, if she still cheats then she hangs herself.