Here's the scenario...we have been together for four years...this past year has been long distance as she is in another city....she left for a better job and it is/was a good move for her. Our original plan was for me to stay here for another year and then join her there (financial obligations on my part)...it's a possible but not definite chance that I will get a job there and it has me concerned. Right now I have a pretty lucrative position and really hate to give it up.
I'm feeling torn between wanting to be with her and wanting to have my cushy job...thinking this way makes me wonder if I really want to be with her. The thought of not being with her hurts....and I know that if I change my mind it will hurt her deeply....and may lead to us parting ways. Am I being a schmuck here with the decision to stay or go?
Is there any way to see each other while maintaining the status quo? How difficult is it to see her now? You could maintain the long distance relationship. It sounds like you have a good job; one that you don't just want to just throw away. What's her job like? Is it stable? Couldn't she get a better job where you're at? Does she make much money? If you moved there to be with her, and committed to her, could you live off of her salary if you couldn't get a job right away? Would she want to? I think the only way to resolve this, if you two are committed to each other, is to go where the best employment opportunities are, for both of you!
Some valid questions. And your last one kind of leads to an issue with me. She wants to stay where she is. I suggested both of us going elsewhere but she's not entertaining that at all. She's ok with us on her salary. I'm not. I don't want to be taken care of. I guess that I kind of feel like I'm making all the sacrifices here. Which then makes me question her level of commitment. - 7 months ago
Answerer
I can see your point. I wouldn't want to be kept, either. Think of it this way, she offered to do that, so that means she definitely wants you in her life. If she is firm about not moving away from her job, I would try to get a job there, while continuing in your present job, and the long-distance relationship. Don't force a showdown, unless you're sure want to risk losing her! - 7 months ago
What Girls Said
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
Jobs come and go you get hired then you get fired but if you guys are in love then it'll be forever. You could easily get a good job where she's at. Go be with her.
Ahhh the naivety of youth. Good 6 figure jobs do not just come and go:). And with a 50% divorce rate there's only half a chance it will be forever. Nice to believe but reality can change things drastically. - 7 months ago
As I said. There are possibilities but nothing definite - 8 months ago
Answerer
Well you're old enough to know what you want. A job or her - 8 months ago
Question Asker
Huh? Then why are you commenting? If I wanted to figure it out for myself, I wouldn't have asked the question. - 8 months ago
Answerer
But no what we say, you're still going to decide on that very question. If she means that much to you-you can make things still work out even if you don't live in the same city. This question is already answered, if you want to make your relationship work and keep your job-you can make it happen. It's all up to you-no one else - 8 months ago
What Guys Said
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
Ask her if she wants to leave her job and move in closer with you,and try find work closer,it works both ways,and depending on her response. You will have your answer
Love is not a job. . . this fact is pretty obvious.
So which is more attractive to you? I understand that some people are more business oriented than others, but everyone wants love. You have to decide if this woman is worth the risk of no job for awhile. If you end up not getting a job, would being there with her be worth it? Some of the poorest people are the happiest. Don't give up love because you are afraid to make a move. It's understandable that you afraid. . . but when you face your fears regardless of that fear you have. . . that's courage. Don't be scared. . . just run to her.
I know, gentlemen. You've been dating "Miss Right" for quite a while now, and she still keeps asking you - dozens of times a day - if you love her. You've been answering this question in the...
Life has become a frigid corpse, a half-dead zombie evolving in thoughts... Is she the elixir of life? that makes my feeling for her 'rife'I tell her I love her - with no impact, my life being toyed...
(Age:Over 45)
When: 8 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
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