He yells at me when I try to talk to him about something he lied about?

so... what's your question>?

you are talking to him cool calm and collected during an argument - You are better than 95% of all girls!

As a general rule of thumb, whenever you "confront" someone about a reality or truth that causes them to feel bad (ashamed or guilty), there is a predictable set of behaviors that they will use to try and relieve their emotional discomfort.

1. Denial
2. Dodging the question
3. Personal attacks against you ( 2 & 3 are usually done together)
4. Reframing (perhaps the nastiest one of all; when the accused attempts to reframe the situation and transform themselves from the accused to the victim.. from the person that should feel bad for their actions or motives.. to the person we should feel sorry for)

Again, notice the common element that all of these techiques have; they all attempt to relieve that negative emotional feeling of guilt and shame. Nobody wants to feel like the bad person. And usually, people who have plenty of history and experience in bad behavior, also have plenty of experience in avoiding this feeling, not coming off like the bad guy/girl and instead manipulating the situation so they can get off the hook easy. (being able to engage in bad behavior, while never having to be held accountable or responsible for that behavior) It's a skill, it's called reframing. And your boyfriend seems to have developed this still very well.

In a court of law, if this was a criminal, an attorney would "build a case". There's no point in trying to engage a criminal or liar on an emotional level. Any emotional argument would simply be countered by his reframing. In order to successfully build a case that is objective and unbiased, and leaves no room for the criminal or liar to wiggle out of, one has to resort to a "pure logic/reason/rational" argument. Just the fact, no assumptions, and pure dedutive logic. State the fact, form a conclusion based on a deduction. Then, use that conclusion in combination with new facts or conclusions to "prove" the final conclusion that is your "case" (namely; that he's full of it). When done in this manner, the criminal or liar, as well as all those listening to this case can no longer deny the truth! Because "pure logic" is unbiased, objective, and either true or false; nothing in between. If you can make a strong case, then he will have to shut up and admit the truth to himself (since you will leave no more room for him to deny or wiggle his way out of it)

Unfortunately, your apartment or house is not a court of law. There is no judge, no jury, and most importantly, no law. It's just you and him. And in such a setting, unless "both" people want to "voluntarily" engage in a logic-only discussion, there is nothing holding the guilty person back from engaging in an emotional argument and evading accountability & responsibility for their behavior once again.

This sounds like the kind of manipulative behavior you see in the stereotypical b*tch girlfriend. This isn't something that's going to ever change. You have to choose if you want to tolerate this behavior (stay), or if you're not (leave him).

Yang to your yin. Whatever your reaction he will find a way to counter it. Regardless of how frustrating this is to you, it's made worse when you realize that what he's doing has nothing to do with resolving the situation and everything to do with merely winning the fight. As long as he keeps you on the ropes running around trying to respond to his moves then he's winning, right?

Wrong. He's making it worse because he's not facing anything. Now you getting mad is justified. But trowing a tantrum and screaming is never going to help your cause. Your calm and logical approach is best. I know because I've had many a throw down with my wife and that's how she gets through to me.

And when I go off the rails to counter her calmness she just sits there looking at me silently while I tirade and then just calmly asks "are you done? Now do you have an answer to my question?" Another tirade later... "are you done? Are you going to answer my question?". The point is stay the course and never be the one to try to quell the situation. Just keep pressing what you're mad about. Sooner or later he'll run out of ways to trip you up.

1. He is probably guilty of whatever it is you talked to him about and that makes him angry
2. He should not ever yell and scream at you. You are a lot nicer than me I would cuss his ass out and make him cry!

what were you fighting about?
tell him this isn't the way to handle things why can't he handle it like a mature and civilized man
and try to speak really calm and don't accuse him that seems to get guys really mad lol