Okay- my fiance' just got Facebook back from after not having it for about a year. She is constantly adding guys as friends (mainly people that she used to know in H.S. and whatever), but that isn't really my concern. She had told me that in her last relationship that she had been in a relationship, but was looking for possible new ones. . .She says she just adds people to look at pictures. . . but to me its just adding a Ton of dudes to your Facebook!. anyways, am I being a worry wart? or should I ask her about it?
Update: Well, now she just ignores it when I ask about it...and she doesn't really respond. . .
12 days ago
Your absolutely right. She's completely out of line adding her guys friend. I don't get why girls don't understand that once there in a relationship all male friends are, simply off limits! pff, women...
Lol I think you're being sarcastic, and if you are, it's really funny. but in the off chance you're being serious, then it's not very funny at all. - 10 days ago
Question Asker
Um; I was being sarcastic and serious? She doesn't hang out with any guy friends. not because I tell her not to, she just doesn't. Like, if she did from the start of our relationship, and I was cool with it then, I would still be cool with it... IF out of the blue started hanging out with guys and stuff, yeah I would question it! - 10 days ago
Answerer
Obviously I'm not being serious. - 10 days ago
Question Asker
Oh, wait, what?. . . . some people do act like that, completely cut off friends from before the relationship. Yeah, that is weird- . .. IT is normal to be slightly concerned when out of the blue your fiance' starts hanging out with guys, while we are in a long distant relationship... would that not alarm you?.. if your boyfriend had new girl friends that he was hanging out with? ..and don't say No Not at all. . .It would raise questions for you. . .I may have been over reacting, but I got responses. - 10 days ago
My boyfriend doesn't even allowd me to hug,see,or even talk to my guys friends. at first I was like "wtf" but now am used to it. - 9 days ago
Question Asker
Yeah- I don't see it being that big of a deal? . . girls wouldn't want their man hugging up on other girls or anything like that. . am I right? Their is a difference in not being ALLOWED to do something, and not being encouraged to do those things?... Everyone is in different places and in different types of relationships. . .If you are a club hopper, who is dating another club hopper then you are comfortable with everything associated with that type of lifestyle. . - 9 days ago
N/A
When: 17 days ago
I just had the same problem with my guy last night, only its MySpace and I was mad because of the things he wrote on (About me) and the fact that all his friends are chicks, slutty pornstars-like chicks actually...who have tons of naked pictures on display!
So he got mad to a point that he deleted me off Facebook saying that God forbids a friend to write something funny on his wall then I'll have an episode of anger and trust issues!
People add others for lots of reasons, I only add/accept friends just for those who actually matter to me but some just add them to increase thier friends, which is sad! or perhaps to catch up on the old times!
Since my guy made me feel like I was they crazy chick, who doesn't trust him, I guess you should cut her some slack! or not?.. I dunno.. am still thinking over this...
its not a big deal, she is just adding people she knew it doesn't matter and its nothing to feel threatened of. Facebook isn't the problem its her character. if she told you that she was looking for options while she was in a relationship then she may be one of those girls that like to trade up. if you are worried about her getting with another guy, asking her to delete her Facebook won't solve the problem. before social networking sites people did bad things without the use of the internet.
you're overreacting. its Facebook. do you have friends on this site? are any of them girls? do you want to leave your girlfriend for all of those girls?
I have friends that are girls on my Facebook yes; do I chat with them and am I currently adding girls that I went to highschool with and whatnot. no,I don't. . . and no, I don't want to leave my girlfriend for any girl that is on my Facebook, I just find it kind of odd that she is adding all these dudes. I may be overreacting, you are correct. - 17 days ago
Answerer
I didn't mean that to be harsh in any way, I just wanted you to look at it from another perspective in which you can see the behavior in a more innocent light. I understand how you can jump to the worst situation, but in all honesty, it probably isn't the case, and thinking that it is, could hurt your relationship more than what she's doing. best of luck - 17 days ago
Question Asker
You weren't harsh- I know that she isn't cheating on me or anything of the sort. She is an outgoing girl with guy friends and girl friends. . she loves me 100% and I know that- - it was just a simple insecurity that blew up in my head. . . .she now thinks I am pretty crazy.. ..I probably shouldn' thave asked her about it and just got over it before talking to her and making myself appear crazy. - 17 days ago
this is one big insecurity issue...that needs to be solved now. I think your freaking out over nothing. She is your fiance...for a reason. As long as she doesn't engage is odd conversations with them, I think you need to stop worrying...but if her Facebook shows that she is actively communicating with several guys...that's when I would draw the red flags.
you shhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuulllllllllllllllllllllddddddddddd ASK HER about it , look dude a girl who is in love does not look at other guys or add up bunch of dudes on Facebook unless is she is looking for a replacement ( possibles new ones) . I asked girlfriend to wiped you all those useless contacts and she did . ask her the same but o it politely. if she tells you no then dumbs her before she drives you crazy and suck all the glucose from your head , still your brain dead , with worries that she is the cause of it. oh yeah steal her phone and read the messages there be signs IF SHE is cheating on you. And you will know it
Shes my Fiance' man....and we are long distant right now. . . When I have seen her, I did check her text msg's. . usually they are okay, usually they have been deleted.. .I have told her that's weird that her text are all deleted., she said that she always deletes them after a couple of days.... Yeah, I don't know though, I don't really want to push deleting her guy friends that hard because it makes her think that I really don't trust her .. .. how would you ask that in a polite way? - 13 days ago
Answerer
Sorry to say this no one deletes messages unless they are hiding things. for sure she is hiding something .it not the mater of trusting her . Tell her you feel uncomfortable with it. guys out there are cruel they hide their true intentions, and tell her you love so much you wouldn't want to see her gets hurt or somethin happen that you want to protect her. AND ask her politely what does she intend to do with those add up guys friends that she barely knows. and asks her to deleted them politely - 12 days ago
Its not really any different than you asking if she is a lesbo for adding a bunch of ladies. You just see it as potential cheating partners because their guys and she is hetro. Once you get over being insecure about cheating and being unfaithful you will have a much happier and progressive relationship.
Haha- good point. she has been adding both guys and girls...perhaps she is BI. . .Looking for a new experience overall. . . ?. ?. .? I am going to be smart enough to know, that would be stupid to ask her that question though. I know-I am not worried about her cheating on me. . it is just a general concern/question about who are they, and what are they doing on yo Facebook.. its not a are you cheating on me question. .right? - 17 days ago
Thumbs down on Facebook if you're in an exclusive relationship.
I know it's all about trust, but women are kidding themselves if they think that connecting with dudes on Facebook is 100% innocent. It may be on their behalf, but most of the dudes that are contacting them are doing so in hopes of banging them.
I went exclusive with a chick and then dumped her because of the Facebook addiction... didn't wanna deal with her getting hit up by guys all the time. She promised she's stop, gave me her passwords, promised, cried all that stuff. Then ended up banging a dude on there, then said she was confused by him and he used her. Blah Blah
I'd say put your foot down on this one. I'm sorry ladies, but it affects the relationship, some more than others, so be mindful of your man's insecurities and realize that while they seem lame to you, they are very real to him.
See if you can make a compromise. Since you two are committed to being together forever, then perhaps you should make a joint account.
These are some of the reasons I don't use these social networks.
Her intentions may be gold, but the dudes that are hitting her up only have one thing in mind. ;)
Yeah, that is some good advice...I will bring that up to her about the going in and making a joint account. She has already given me her psswords to everything...SO, she knows that I have the chance to look at that stuff of hers, so she is adding guys who she grew up with and stuff... As I told an answerer below, I have asked her about that and her response was that 'If I wanted somebody else, I wouldn't get them on Facebook, I would just dump you and find someone' . . . - 17 days ago
I'm sorry but I'm capable of having guy friends that don't want me as a Facebook friend just to "bang" me, and my boyfriend is secure enough to not get bent out of shape over it. it's Facebook! an online social networking site, 3/4 of the people you add on those you never even talk to. - 17 days ago
Question Asker
Hahaha- yeah, I haven't heard of a lot of FB banging. . .haha; I trust her, and she got pretty mad saying that I didn't trust her.. ITs not that I don't trust her, its just a simple question . what's with all these guys that you have been adding to your Facebook? I did ask about the joint account question, she said it was creepo/weird. . maybe when we are married but not right now. . haha I don't know what to do, I think if I push it too much that it could really not be that great. - 17 days ago
I'm proud of all of you. Well it bugs me if a chick likes to spend time chatting with dudes. I usually just see it as atypical & move on. It obviously bugs the question asker, & it will continue to do so until there is some compromise, or, it will become a major issue down the line.As for Facebook, I do a lot of contextual and display advertising with Facebook, for a handful of company's and the lame dating, male enhanc, & male vanity stuf does very well because 90% of dudes on there to get laid - 16 days ago
Question Asker
I do agree with you that there are some Facebook guys that do use that as a method to get with girls; I will keep all of these answers in mind and I do appreciate it! - 16 days ago
Who the hell gave you three downs when you wrote the truth :-D I just gave you a +1 yeah peoples should be mindful on their partners insecurity. TO the question asker ,you her better than us , can she be easily deceive or let her guard easily because some bloke said she cute an she thinks he is friendly ? IF YES then seriously watch out . protecter her as best as you can . - 12 days ago
I would definitely talk to her about it. Bring up her earlier statement as well. She might be surprised/impressed you remembered the situation she spoke about.
Yeah, I have asked her about it. and brought the past up and she said that I was being dumb, that if she wanted to go get another guy then she would just dump me and go do it... Sooo . .I probably am overreacting but... I have never had trust issues like this in my past relationships; Facebook wasn't really popular then..but, I never really had an issue with them talking to other guys. Facebook seems so secretive and whatnot... - 17 days ago
Answerer
I had a similar issue with a recent girlfriend. Her changing the subject and blaming you is a minimalizing of your emotions, is unfair, and you should assert your right to have her explain everything openly.
If she refuses, I'd say there's something to worry about. - 17 days ago
Okay- so I did bring it up and; she explained that its guys that she has known for a long time and that she wouldn't be reacting if I was adding a bunch of girls....Okay, so I asked if she had talked to any guys on Facebook? She said, no. we talked a little while longer, then I asked the question again, and she said well, yeah, I talked to BLAH. But I doubt that he even likes girls and we have been friends for a long time! . .I know that I am over reacting, but its interesting to see other v - 17 days ago
Answerer
It's not a particularly good sign that she lied the first round... but she's being somewhat open and that's more respectful of your emootions than she was before. - 16 days ago
Question Asker
She may have just forgot that she was talking to him? - 16 days ago
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When: 17 days ago
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