Being the mistress....

This is a really hard subject to talk about riht now as it has had an impact on my life for a very long period of time. I met this guy about 4 years ago and we were datign and after dating for like 6 months we hooked up. only to find out he was engaged. long story short he picked his 3 month pregnant fiance.

flash forward from that a year and a half.. and we started talking againg. shortly after that I found out Iw as pregnant with my boyfriend at the times baby. He took off went MIA and in the meantime engaged guy had gotten well married.

Well him and I started talking shortly before I found out I was preggers and when I found out h came over to console me and we just talked like no sex nothing pure like this is how I'm feelings crying etc. baby's dad took off I almost miscarried married guy came over again. Purely Friends... 110%

Flash forward a year.. I had gotten engaged while being pregnant and my fiance had signed the right of parentage for my son even though he wasn' the bio dad.

but him and I were not having sex and married guy wasn't getting anything form his wife and we literally were borth in reltaionships where we weren't even being kissed, my fiance wouldn't even snuggle with me etc.

one thing lead to another and me and married guy hooked up.

now he's soon to be divorced guy. He found out his wife had been screwing around for basiclaly the last 2 years. and when he told her he cheated on her with me again.. she couldn't tak eit among othr issues they had.

I love him, but I cannot be with him.

I also love my fiance. he is absoilutely amazing an dI don't know where I would be wihtout him.

Being the mistress truly is the worst palce to be.

When I was single I didn't mind it so much,. but now that I have responisbilty its different.
When I was single I had a rpretty strict don't ask don't tell policy. I basically knew that I was this one guys dirty mistress because no one buys you that much lingerie without it beign out of spite.. lol. it was relaly fun pretty crazy intense sex. but like someone else posted. its lonely.

Being a mistress is a LONELY place to be. First, you can never go out with the guy --anywhere. Second, you can't tell most people about your relationship (its a secret), Third-if you develop feelings for the person, you're screwed (they most likely won't leave their spouse). Its exciting, fun and seems so great for a while. But, the fun is not something you can share. Then, when you realize you will never have a regular relationship, its the most depressing thing ever. I don't know how other women who are mistresses do it. I haven't been one but I had a really brief affair (1 month) and I am still trying to recover.

My parents raised me with deep morals and ethics. I refuse to be a mistress. I cannot handle committing adultery and having to answer to God. In addition, I do not share my guy with anyone. Moreover, I think if something is amiss in the marriage then the couple needs to remedy their issues. Going outside the marriage will probably make matters worse than better. Finally, I refuse to be a home wrecker and devastate an unsuspecting wife or children. Some things are off limits and a married guy is one.