Although we've known one another for a few years now, we started going out about four months ago in July. He's thirty-four and I'll be nineteen in a month.
Before anyone jumps to conclusions, no, the age difference is not and has not been an issue. He made it clear that he would not push me to do anything I don't want to do or feel uncomfortable doing, and has kept his word on it. And he's not a guy one should go after if you're gold digging; in fact, we usually trade off paying for things, and I like it that way. He makes me laugh, deeply cares for friends and family, has a wealth of esoteric knowledge that I love to pick his brain about, listens to me (or at least he's good at pretending to listen to me ;P), and is the only person I've known who is willing to put everything down and come to a friend's aid when needed, even at odd hours in the morning. After the last nightmare experience I had with men, I'm immensely thankful to have him.
The primary problem comes stems from time: I'm a freshman at a private college - my dream college that I had been working towards being accepted since I was nine; the only reason why I've been able to attend is because student loans, scholarships, and a little graduation money were able to pay for the tuition, seeing as I cannot financially depend upon my family.
I currently work two jobs during any spare hours during the week, saving up to try to pay off the remainder of next semester. Although I had already saved up a fair amount before enrolling, I still would not be able to pay off next semester's tuition even with a monthly payment plan, due to other expenses like car insurance and supplies for my various assignments. Because of this, I've contemplated getting another job, and working the week-ends, seeing as the two I currently have now are only open during week-days.
So here's where the problem comes in: I want to continue my relationship with my boyfriend, however, I *need* to get another job if I hope to even stand a chance at paying for next semester. Which would mean spending significantly less time with the boyfriend. Since he didn't go to college, he doesn't quite understand how much time one needs to dedicate to it to maintain even just an A/B average, alongside working two jobs.
I don't want to sacrifice my education for the sake of a relationship. I worked too hard to get into the college I'm attending, and would be unable to bear it if I have to stop attending simply because of financial reasons. But I don't think breaking up with him for the sake of making space for a new job is a good reason to separate, and there's also the issue of the two of us having a number of mutual friends, who's friendship I don't want soured by me splitting from him.
You are preparing for your future right now. Going to college and earning a degree is one of the most beneficial things you can do. Staying in college and focusing on your personal goals right now has to take precedence. Your boyfriend is old enough and mature to understand that people have to make sacrifices. If he truly cares about you and your future, he will try to understand or at least let you do what you have to. At the end of the day, you're responsible for your future. Your diligence is going to pay off one day. You've come too far to compromise your future and education. I think you already know what to do. Good luck.
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 14 days ago
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