Home | New Members | Expert Answers | How To Videos | Our Blog | Sign Up | Sign In
Invite Friends
 
GirlsAskGuys.com GirlsAskGuys.com
  Chat Flirting Dating Relationships Sexuality Break-Up Behavior Style Other
UnPerFect

How can I help a friend to let her abusive boyfriend go?

Average Rating:
Your Rating: 
MiserableBoringEnjoyableInterestingFascinating
 
UnPerFect (Age:Under 18)     When: More than a year ago
Views: 1159     Category: Relationships

If you had a boyfriend who slapped you in the mouth because you told him you didn't want him going to a party with this girl who had a crush on him would you dump him or keep him? I told her to dump him and she won't so what do I do now to help her?


3000 characters left  Anonymous Spell Check Spell Check
 Report Question Widgets Note This
SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
 Share on Facebook

Answers

    From Guys  
4
From Girls  
11
 

What Guys Said

motorboater
955  
motorboater      When: More than a year ago
Well she should dump him. You can help her the most by talking to her and point her to books, counselors, websites, about abuse. NOT by demanding she leave him, or calling the police on him retroactively. (because that will create a big problem for you and if they aren't breaking up, they'll defend their little couple hood from YOU who are trying to end what they both want)

Rather, she has to WANT to end it, and you can support her and help her in that direction and let her know that she deserves better and all that. MAYBE talk to her parents, but you know what? If she takes it from him, likely she takes it from her parents already (no matter how they seem on the surface) so that might backfire.

A school counselor or something like that might work out much better; plus a counselor could talk to her, police, parents at least as effectively as you.
Do you agree?
Agree   1 Disagree   0
Report

persian
245  
persian      When: More than a year ago
Tell her parents. make her to understand that it's not good to stay in a abusive relationship. dump his ass. and what ever you do doesn't work, sometimes people need to live something, to wake up! but let authority ( police for example) and the family knows. that's physical abuse!
Do you agree?
Agree   0 Disagree   0
Report

shanekokayne
628  
shanekokayne      When: More than a year ago
Tell her 2 dump his disrespectful ass on the curb!! its only gunna get worse and if she thinks she can "save him" or "help him change" SHE IS WRONG!!!! you can't change a guy...no matter what she says she cant...he f***ing slapped her...he deserves an ass whipping...an abusive relationship never gets better...only worse...trust me...my sis was choked and beaten...and she still THOUGHT she could save him...it was a joke 2 spend 3 years n that relationship.
Do you agree?
Agree   1 Disagree   0
Report

shanekokayne
628  
shanekokayne      When: More than a year ago
Tell the authorities...he has no right to lay a finger on a girl...dump his ass. Period.
Do you agree?
Agree   1 Disagree   0
Report
 

What Girls Said

depressed-shawti
312  
depressed-shawti      When: 10 months ago
i wouldn't dump him. I would jump up in his face and tell him that if he f***ing touches me again I will kick his ass, and he wouldn't go to the party with the girl. it would be with me or he don't go, and if he didn't listen I would leave him right then and there.

you need to tell your gurl to put her foot down and stand up to that man.

other wise she needs to let go and move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea
Do you agree?
Agree   0 Disagree   0
Report

DELILA-G
0  
DELILA-G      When: More than a year ago
LET HER KNOW You R HER FRIEND AND You WANT THE BEST FOR HER. SHE SHOULD REALISE SHE IS BETTER THAN THAT AND THERE'S MORE GUYS OUT THERE WHO WOULD APPRECIATE HER AND GIVE HER KISSES ON THE MOUTH RATHER THAN SLAPPING HER. SHE IS STILL YOUNG AND DOESN'T NEED TO GO THIS ROUTE SO YOUNG. A GUY LIKE THAT WILL GET HER NOW WHERE! SHE SHOULD SEE THAT HE DOESN'T RESPECT HER IN THE FIRST PLACE BY GOING TO A PARTY WITH A GIRL WHO HAS A CRUSH ON HIM, AND THEN HITTING HER. TELL HER You R TRYING TO ONLY BE A GOOD FRIEND AND HELP HER OUT WITH THIS SITUATION AND IF You WEREN'T A TRUE FRIEND WHO CARED FOR HER You WOULDN'T WANT TO HELP HER. BUT MAKE SURE You LET HER KNOW. You R TRYING TO HELP HER BUT You CANT MAKE HER DECISION'S SO You CAN ONLY ADVICE HER BUT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS You WILL BE THERE FOR HER. :)
Do you agree?
Agree   0 Disagree   0
Report

lost-angel
4066  
lost-angel      When: More than a year ago
You have to tell an adult. Her parents, or a guidance counselor at school. It will hurt her now, because she is in love with this douchebag, but it will be better for her in the long run.

I don't know what action the parents would take, but they might ban her from going out with this guy, or contacting him. Or they might ask the parents of the guy to leave her alone. I don't know. But right now, being her age range, she will not listen to ANYONE. Teens at that age range think they are right about everything. I think the only people who can control this is her parents, and the school.
Sit down and talk to them, without her around. If you are afraid it will ruin the friendship, then ask them to conceal your name regarding this issue. And explain that you are just worried about her, and care about her well being.



Do you agree?
Agree   0 Disagree   0
Report

SprayOnDeoderant
264  
SprayOnDeoderant      When: More than a year ago
tell her she deserves better because she does.
Do you agree?
Agree   0 Disagree   0
Report
 
real08 I agree with telling her that she deserves better, but you as a friend need to do more than that. Rent movies that has domestic violence in it, and tell her, that she will find someone better. Maybe it will take about, but she and others will realize that she is much happier. It isn't worth it. I have been in an abusive relationship before, and I am so glad that I left. - More than a year ago

undercover0711
143  
undercover0711      When: More than a year ago
Well she needs to realize that she will find someone who will treat her right. As for him slapping her in the mouth. "oh no" that wouldn't fly. You need to tell her that what he is doing is wrong and make her realize that what if it was you in her position what would she tell you. (does that make sense? ) Maybe that will help her realize a little better.
Do you agree?
Agree   0 Disagree   0
Report

DoNt-PaNiC
1675  
DoNt-PaNiC      When: More than a year ago
How can she not want to dump him? I mean yes she might love him and say things like, he was just in a bad mood or that she blamed it on herself but really. you must try and show her a lot he facts of what her boyfriend really is and then you have to just wait, you can't force your friend to do anything but you must be there for her all the time every time she needs you. she will eventually realize whats going on and she will leave him,
Do you agree?
Agree   0 Disagree   0
Report

aqt4u221
239  
aqt4u221      When: More than a year ago
I would dump him because that's abuse and she shouldn't have to deal with anything like that. she can find way better. just be there for whatever she decides to do.
Do you agree?
Agree   1 Disagree   0
Report

tailgate
166  
tailgate      When: More than a year ago
If this jackass is already hitting girls when he's a teenager, imagine what he'll do 10 years from now. I'd guess that he's getting hit at home and I would get an adult involved to check into things. It could change their whole future if he/she get help.
Do you agree?
Agree   3 Disagree   0
Report

rosynante
579  
rosynante      When: More than a year ago
If it gets worse, tell her parents. Abuse escalates and it's a terrible thing to get into so young (at any age, really).
Do you agree?
Agree   2 Disagree   0
Report

tammymac
3385  
tammymac      When: More than a year ago
You need to tell here it's not healthy to stay with someone who abuses you. I know it's just once, so far. But rarely does it stay as a one time thing. Trust me it starts a push then a slap and soon your friend will find she is a punching bag for all his frustrations. Please do your friend a favor and get her out of this situation or at least support her, because when it's over she will need your friendship even more then she does now.
Do you agree?
Agree   2 Disagree   0
Report

petitemissy
15  
petitemissy      When: More than a year ago
You need to back off and don't get involved in her dramas. She is young and is in love with him. She will dump him when she will have enough of him slapping her. I would dump him if he had slapped me in the mouth because I will not put up with that crap anymore.

Do you agree?
Agree   2 Disagree   3
Report
 
lost-angel Whut? What if she never realizes it?Just like shanekokayne said, his sis was abused but stayed in the relationship. Some women will never get it. Especially the ones who are being abused. Because it lowers their self-esteem, and self-worth. So they feel they are nothing without, the man. Not all women are as strong as you. And I'm sorry, but I disagree that her friend or anyone should just "back off".Its like allowing someone to lay there and die. And not do something about it.
- More than a year ago
 
Find more questions on boyfriend abuse     
Home > Relationships Questions > How can I help a friend to let her abusive boyfriend go?
 
Join GirlsAskGuys
Members earn points to get Expert Advice on Video, Amazon & iTunes Gift Cards, books and more!
Male Female
 Open Contests  
Crazy Thanksgiving Story with Family
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and just like the last year and the year before, you will most likely spend it with your family. And just like everyone else, you have a crazy uncle or an...
$20 Amazon Gift Card   $20 Amazon Gift Card
Check out the winner of the last contest!
Worst Pick Up Lines
Winner received $20 Amazon Gift Card
View All Contests >>
Questions on boyfriend abuse
A Girl Asked I feel like I should break up with my boyfriend
He does some of the sweetest things... writes me songs, calls me cute nicknames, talks to me everyday, etc...However, he never wants to be there for...  
A Girl Asked When is name calling abuse?
id like to throw this out here. when is name calling abuse? like for example one time I'll admit I was an idiot and drove on a flat tire. My boyfriend...  
More Questions on
boyfriend abuse
Expert Advice
More Video Answers
A Girl Asked  Question: Why does my boyfriend keep checking out other woman ?

Video Answer From Matt Titus
Click here to watch larger video
Relationships Xpers
  
Shlei3
14534  
Shlei3
Engaged, 26 years old
United States
6 Questions - 999 Answers
Relationships Xper: 3499
kingbrother
12252  
kingbrother
Single, 16 years old
United Kingdom
0 Questions - 1017 Answers
Relationships Xper: 3081
Hercules
14690  
Hercules
Single, 20 years old
United States
2 Questions - 734 Answers
Relationships Xper: 2619
Littletad
14583  
Littletad
Single, 26 years old
United States
5 Questions - 616 Answers
Relationships Xper: 2214

What is Xper? View Rankings
Disclaimer: GirlsAskGuys cannot guarantee the accuracy of answers, opinions and advice submitted by members. Please use common sense when following or omitting any content on GirlsAskGuys.com
Browse Categories: Flirting  |   Dating  |   Relationships  |   Sexuality  |   Break-Up  |   Behavior  |   Style  |   Other                                         Home Top
  Site Links     About GirlsAskGuys     GirlsAskGuys Widgets     Help Us Improve!   RSS Feeds
Home
Videos
Partners
Search Questions
Terms of Use, Privacy
Help, New Members
About Us
Contact Us, Send Feedback
Sitemap
Advertise With Us
Resources
Post your questions on your blog, website, or any social networking page. You can embed into MySpace, Facebook and more. Click here for more info.
Have a suggestion? See a problem on the site? Click here to give feedback and suggestions on the new GirlsAskGuys, and help us give you a better experience. Visit our blog here
 Subscribe
Add to My AOL
Add to Google Reader or Homepage
©2009 girlsaskguys.com™. All Rights Reserved.