So I posted a question about this but I'm not sure I worded it completely correctly as to tell both sides of the tale, please help:
I had been dating this girl for 4 years, she is 19 I'm 26.. we shared good and bad times, even moved across the country to stay with her. We are so completely in love, its hard to explain but a few month into the move things we're going bad. We were both VERY stressed at life and we weren't treating each other so good.
In the past, I was not completely supportive of her and was an ass at times (all guys can be, no?) when we moved it became worse so we started getting mad at each other all the time... NOTHING abusive AT ALL just pity arguments and frustrations.
Fast forward to January, I found out I was going to Iraq and had 4 days notice to leave. It was really hard on her, we left each other on shaky terms, but still together. She told me she didn't want to be together anymore, but I convinced her I would work on myself while I was gone to be a better man, that I would do anything for her. And I did, for the first few months I was THE best most caring guy I could be in distance. Well, apparently she wasn't really hearing it and decided to sleep with another guy. She claims "I TOLD YOU I didn't want to be together!" as an excuse. So that ended our dating relationship, she was single.
She then bounced from that guy who she gave up everything for to a new guy a few weeks later, a lowly 31 year old drug head who she is sleeping with now simply because he is "nice" and "listens to her" ... she is desperate just be with someone and feel wanted, she slept with him shortly after meeting him for the first time.
She is always telling me I have her heart, I am her only love, she loves me so much and never wants to loose me, but that she wants to remain single until I get home in 10 months and then she promises we can "talk" about us... until then she wants us to learn to be best friends again like what we lost before, but NOT work on us being together till then.
That is where it gets tricky... she is trying SO hard to show me she cares, she writes, sends emails, cards, pics, daily, tells me all the time she luvs me... but yet when she is around this new guy all she does is get drunk and sleep with him.
Do you think it is possible to let her be 19 and sleep around while I'm gone and then come back and try and work on stuff? Its hard cos I TRULY DEEPLY love her, and she knows it. She has been getting so drunk and puking more nights than not now, I think she is going through a self destructive phase and is calling out for help, and she will continue sleeping with guys who simply act nice to get in her pants, but she refuses to admit it cos she doesn't want to feel dirty.
I tell her almost every day to start respecting herself because she is the most beautiful girl in my world and deserves so much more, but she just brushes it off and goes on her way.
What the hell am I supposed to do? I know she is hurting.
First off, as a man in the military, you deserve the best. she is not worth you time or anybody's for that matter. ok she is lonely that does not give anyone the excuse to do whatever they want. I'm sorry you got involved with such a young girl bc yes she is young and will make mistakes but really, is this the kind of girl you want to give your heart to and live with for the rest of your life knowing she did this and wondering what else she will do...
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