He is 47,divorced twice. I'm 36. When we first met 2 years ago- he was all over me, asked to leave my husband so we could start dating. I left my husband, bought a house, bought a car, transfered my kid to another school etc - HE backed off. Later on I found out he posted himself on eHarmony. Com. Hmmm. I guess he did not find anyone over there. Then to sum the whole thing up -- our relationship just turned into a sexual one. For almost all these 2 years all we have been having - just sex , 2-3 times per month, very quick sex, he is always in a rush, does not even want to go out with me to buy me drink! (I asked he refused saying that it would look like a "date"). . Then my wealthy husband passed away. This guy said that he would marry me for money. He said that I would take care of him and he would continue giving me great sex. Later on I said that I have feelings for him. He did not push me away and asked to meet for lunch. During lunch he said "do you see yourself married to such a guy like me" , And I said that he has issues with monogamy which is true because he posted himself on match. Com (again). I requested him to remove his profile from there and he did, But he still keeps disappearing on me. He says that he " likes me " but he does not want to have anything more then just sexual relationship with me. . If he likes me and has been having sex with me for 2 years - why not to buy me a drink?! I would love. We are just lovers so why not?. He does not involve me in his life and I stopped asking,. Is he likes me why not to spend more time? If he is saying that he would marry me - why is acting LIKE THIS. I'm so CONFUSED with his behavior. I DO LOVE HIM unfortunately. This relationships sucks and I want to get out - not sure how. Any idea what the hell is going on?!?
He likes the attention you are giving him but in no way does he want to commit to you. You are basically what we call "back up. "
You however have made so many sacrifices to be with this person and now it's hard to admit to yourself that you may have made a big mistake. Although I'm sure you want it to work out, on paper it doesn't look good.
So like you said, this sucks and you should move on. How? By self-discipline and understanding what your goals are what you need to do to achieve those goals. The hardest thing for people to do is change out of their old habits and things that are "comforting. " You can continue to dig yourself this emotional hole or climb out.
Here's the problem with women, a survey asks: If you love someone but your not In love with them, would you change yourself to love that person?
70% women = yes 30% men = yes.
You can't change people who don't want to and this guy isn't going to, he's a salty dog.
You have a kid, that's priority 1.
2. Get out of this mess and build yourself a happy / productive atmosphere before you go find another potential mate.
OH MY GOSH! This is honestly horrible. First question that comes to mind is your kid? How do they feel? You moved them to a different school for a guy who just isn't worth it. (maybe at the time you didn't realize it) I don't know. I think you are being selfish and not even worried about your kid. Leave this guy. Obviously "HE'S JUST ISN'T THAT INTO YOU" you ever read that book? Please do, it could help you out A LOT. Lady I am so sorry this is just a sucky relationship and what's even worse you are attached to him and I know for a fact you are just a piece of ass for him. (i hate to be so blunt) I am sure you are a wonderful person but this just isn't right. I believe in you that you can go out find a nice guy who has his shit in order, someone who is willing to date you for you and your kid. You are in the wrong place. Again I am sorry that I was so blunt but come on.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
On my ideal first date, he would come and pick me up and take me anywhere but his house and the movies! I want to be somewhere we can get to know more about each other like dinner or another ice breaker activity we can do together. I'll wear what ever the date calls for, and it ends with NO KISSING, and a polite goodnight! :)
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
My date will know if there is any spark between us, and know if I am interested in seeing I'm again. He will also get to know a little more about the way my mind works.
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