My fiance and I are getting married this August. We've known each other a long time, and although we're both still finishing up college, we've decided that it's time to get married. The only concern that I really have is financial. He's OK with taking out loans, but I'm not. He's not very careful with his money and often spends it on things he doesn't really need (extra features on cell phone plans and other conveniences). It's nice to have these things, but he doesn't really need them or have the budget to include them. With his two loans out already (for school and car), I feel like I'm marrying into debt, and that's not a good feeling. It's not going to change my decision to marry him, but what can I do to help us finance our money better when we're together?
Things do seem tough on couples just starting out. Everything costs more by earlier standards. But if there is one thing worth borrowing for, its education. So if your fiance is working toward a degree and seems sensible regarding where he lives and what he drives, then he's made good decisions concerning some major expenses. Some features on a cell phone can seem unnecessary, but are probably less pricey than going over the limit on minutes, for example. If he's not one to put everything on credit cards, then he's that much ahead of most people. Its probably rare that both people see entirely eye to eye regarding how to handle money. For the person who is future conscious, it can be hard to pass on that mind set. But if you allow zero in the budget for fun things, you'll be frazzled. I agree with AJtogo that its essential to have a strategy. But it needs to be adaptable. Think about this too. Dollars can be stretched, but time is the one thing we only get so much of. It passes progressively faster - which also means that before you know it, you will say, Wow! That loan is paid off already?. That was a good investment. I've made and lost a lot of money. But I don't miss that nearly as much as I miss some friends and the precious time I let slip away. That may sound corny, but I stand by it.
Sign a prenup. Lol. I would never get married with out one. Well if that is a determining factor to marry someone them you must not truly love him. Marriage is for better and for worse, sick and poor. That means you sill stick by that persons side no matter what! Good?
I'm not sure if you meant you thought I had said that it WAS a determining factor in our marriage. Just to clear it up, the financial issues that may arise WILL NOT have an effect on my decision to marry him. I am in this for better or worse, sicker or poorer. I was only wondering if there was anything I could do to help the situation from getting worse. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Yeah ground him from spending. Hmm you sound like someone I know. Lol. Do I know you? - 7 months ago
It matters big time. It is one of the primary reasons that marriages break-up. I'm not a big Oprah fan, but a friend put me on to her site and her 20 questions that every couple should discuss before marriage. Check it out. It will save a lot of future grief if you do.
My girlfriend's sister married into debt. He had over 100,000 in student loans plus maxed out credit cards, and that's only the stuff we were told about. The beginning of a marriage is when you have the greatest debt. Having to buy a house and furniture and a car or two. Then the possibility of kids coming along. They couldn't buy anything because he was too far in debt. They have been together 5 years now and are still trying to crawl out from under the load.
You guys need to have a plan in place to get rid of that debt before marriage. Otherwise you may find yourself responsible for half of his debt when you marry his sorry ass.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
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