Ive been with my guy for a year and a half, and he's great. we get along and stuff. he's in college right now and after he's completely done with college, we plan on moving in together. his college is about an hour and a half away but I visit him on most weekends. but I usually have to talk to him online during the week. the past couple of years, he's started to get into shape and working out, and being healthy, ive started to notice that when he and I talk, he's talks about himself, and him getting in shape and how he looks... like a lot. I don't want to be mean to him and tell him its all he talks about, because that would upset him and cause a fight. but its hard to be able to talk to him about things when that's all that's on his mind. like all the time. I'm glad he can talk to me about it and stuff but sometimes it would be nice to talk about other things and us and all that stuff. when I ask him what his top priorities are, he's says getting a college degree getting in shape, and to love people around him. I've even taken a chance and asked him about marriage, which I know I shouldn't have done. his reply to me asking if he thought we would get married some day, down the road was "I dunno." when I was surprised, he changed it to.. "probably. I dunno.. probably" I know I get upset about small things sometimes, but he seems to act like I blow everything out of proportion. like when I talk to him online and he takes like 20 minutes to reply back to my IMs.. that gets frustrating. and he says he gets annoyed when I get upset with him. I'm just a little frustrated.. and I'm not sure how I should handle everything. does he only care about himself? how can I stop getting upset about little things, how can I make him realize I'm not always getting upset, does he not care about me? please help.
Sounds like you two want two different things. You said that you go and visit him. Does he ever come and visit you? Sounds like this is a one sided relationship where you are giving giving giving, and he's taking taking taking. It doesn't sound very healthy, and you are probably going to get hurt.
Its hard for him to come here because he doesn't have a car on campus and he can only come when his roommate comes into down [ because he's lives in the same town as us] and he pays for alot of the stuff when I visit him. - 7 months ago
I don't know how old your guy is but so far he seems to me like he is smart to not be talking about marriage when you are so young. I've said it before on here that every dating website that I have ever been to I see that women who marry at a young age, no matter how long the relationship has been, these women are divorced before they turn 30. I have also had a rule that I made myself from observations of other relationships. One year of dating before I can decide on moving in with this woman, at least 6 months of living together before proposing and all this can't take place until after the age 25.
If you two have already decided on moving in with each other after he graduates from college, then great. BUT I'm sure what he is thinking is that he would like to get to know how it feels to live you with you FIRST before he considers proposing to you.
As for taking a long time to reply to your messages, the guy is in college RIGHT, so he must be doing others things online or on his computer at the same time while chatting with you. Take me for example, RIGHT NOW I am writing this message while watching a movie on my TV, while playing Chess with some person I've never met online, while looking for a job online, while eating a snack, while playing a video game on a separate window. If your guy is in college I'm sure he is doing more than one thing online or otherwise, that has him taking such a long time to reply to your messages.
Hes 19. So we wouldn't even be moving in together for like 3 more years. And I too am against getting married at a young age. I don't want to get married until after I'm 25. I want to live with him for about a year or two first. So I guess I shouldn't have even asked him. I was just curious lol. But I know marriage won't be for like 5 years. Which I'm totally fine with. Thanks for your advice. Made me feel much better :] - 7 months ago
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