I'm just curious, what qualifies as cheating. One obvious thing is actual penetration during sex. Well kinda. Because I think some people (mostly guys) can remove the emotional aspect from sex and not think of it as cheating. But what about a kissing/kissing? What about oral sex? What about deep conversations where you share thoughts and feelings with another person who you are not dating/married to?
Update: 5/13/08: Ok, we've heard from the Under 30 Generation. Where is the 30+ Generation? What are your thoughts?
3 months ago
Yes, in a relationship you should not feel trapped. I don't feel trapped but I would do every so often if I did not have mini snogs every now and then--this means once every year or so. I have been with my bloke 5.5 years and been married one year, and I have kissed two other blokes in that time- one three times on 2 separate occasions and also kissed one girl. the other bloke I mini snogged about three months ago. yes I didn't even mini snog first 4 years. nothing else happened- did I want it to--physically yes- I was attracted to them- emotionally-no. for me this is not cheating- that's too strong a word-- would is say it's wrong-- in some ways yes in some ways no, it's not an ideal world, were not perfect people, things happen, attraction happens, I think though for any relationship to work, a marriage to last the test of time you need to allow for some mad moments- it doesn't mean to throw your dummy out and panic tell you boyfriend/ girlfriend etc, but I do think if your looking for other guys regularly, snogging them regularly or if going any further than mini snogs you should seriously question your relationship.
Have more to say. I have not specified, how much kissing. I don't go out looking for other guys either. I don't call one or two mini snogs with the same bloke cheating, just random fun, but I do call snogging all night with the same bloke cheating, or having a "ten min" snog. I suppose I would call snogging two different blokes, other than partner ,on the same night cheating, also a bit slappy too. I think dipping into the other side every once in a while ok, but not to do more than a snog, don't go looking for it and make sure this person is worth it anyway- have a bit of chemistry. I stop at snogs because I love my husband and I would not go further because I would hate it if he did more than snog randomly to me.
For me personally, cheating can be anything from talking to someone about your most intimate thoughts, feelings right up to full sex/affair. It all depends on the individual. Some people may even feel cheated on or feel a cheater even if they so much look at another person in a "wanting" way or have these thoughts come into their heads, to a person other than there boyfriend, girlfriend, wife. husband. For me I have "cheated" on my husband, but never gone further than kissing- and even when I have kissed someone it's only been with someone I really fancy and who is on way or another different, more attractive, more appealing than my current husband, basically I don't /will not kiss anyone. These guy generally only satisfy one need for me and that's all I want them to do or need them to do. They are often a bit "more exciting" "more muscular" " more attractive" and pulling these types of men or when they come on to me- makes me feel alive. I kie to feel attractive. I like to know if communication were to break down btw me and hubby I can still pull. If my husband were to find out, it would not have to be with someone I regret i.e. someone ugly, poorer. Chances are- he kisses other girls too- but I can honestly say I would not mind if he did as long as that's all he did.
Ok if ur kissing, having sex,oral sex, anything physical with a girl besides playing around is cheating to me, talking and having deep conversations isn't cheating.
First of all Real men don't know how to separate feelings from sex because they aren't hoes. You can tell if a man just wants to hit it or not. I slept with a guy I was talking to and he was a ex boyfriend from like 8 years ago and the attraction was still there. I didn't consider him my man but I loved him. We were in a long distance relationship. He called me the next day after flying home and told me how much he loved me and how I was his girlfriend and he was happy. We end up going out for a while until I acted immature. That proves men real men don't remove feelings. And kissing,oral,penetration,fingering,hand job,and yes even deep emotional convos with someone that isn't your other half is cheating and can end a great relationship for good. Remember truthfully there is no such thing is unconditional love people have conditions. The only ones who have no conditions are your parents and God.
So, what you're saying is that one man, the guy you dated once, broke up with, then hooked back up with on occasion, is the ideal that real men should be compared against? Plus this wasn't a question regarding unconditional love. - 3 months ago
Answerer
No I am just saying that all is consider cheating. Also the emotions out of sex is not fully possible unless a man is a type that sleeps around. - 3 months ago
Whether it's emotional sex, or just getting off, sex with any other person other then your mate, is cheating. I know people in Europe are open to sexual relations with other people, but in America, people are more monogamous :) Kissing = cheating. Oral sex is definitely cheating too. It's considered cheating when you any kind of body contact or inflict words that are sexual with someone other then your significant other.
As for deep conversation, I wouldn't consider that cheating at all, except if the conversation was about how much you wanted to be with that person, or talking about doing something naughty with them, then that's emotional cheating. You can cheat on someone even if it's not physical, if you're having sexual feelings and acting on them (be it with actions, or WORDS) it's cheating because you're not being faithful to your certain someone. It's natural to have feelings for other people here and there, but as long as you don't ACT upon them, you're not cheating.
America has its share of open relationships, its just not as widely accepted as it is in Europe. So any kind of body contact is cheating? Hugs are cheating? - 3 months ago
Answerer
Noo, I wouldn't consider that cheating at all. Hugs are definitely okay. I thought I mentioned that but I guess not, sorry ;D
It all really depends on your girl and her beliefs and what she qualifies as cheating. Sex is definitely cheating, but if you're italian, kisses are nothing. You kiss everyone on the cheek, so I wouldn't consider that cheating. It's hard to pinpoint what's cheating and what's not, how your girlfriend behaves, is how you behave. You get what I mean? - 3 months ago
Answerer
Ran out of space. Okay, so being in a relationship shouldn't make you feel trapped. Hugging people is absolutely fine. It all depends on your girl's beliefs. Like I said before, watch how she acts. If she kissed another guy in front of you, would you be upset? You have to look at it that way and see what would upset you & in turn treat her that way. No way would a hug make you jealous right? Or a kiss on the cheek. Maybe a kiss on the lips
Don't over analyze it, just know the boundaries:) - 3 months ago
Kissing another girl/boy while your in a relationship is cheating. As for sex and oral sex it is cheating also. But like having a conversations, no. But this is what I think. Different people think different things.
Thank you for your insight, especially the part about different people think different things. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
By the way, the poll numbers have a message from the guys: We are less likely to view oral sex as cheating. I didn't specify giving or receiving, though. Either way, its something to think about... - 3 months ago
This is what cheating is having sex with another girl while in a relationship, giving or receiving oral sex from another person who's not your girlfriend, and even kissing another person who's not your girlfriend. To sum it up sex, oral sex, and kissing are all forms of cheating.
Found out the man I was sleeping with for 3 years was sleeping with another women while he was with me. Blasted him out with not so nice things and he...
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