I'm a single father, divorced now for 3 years. I'm gainfully employed, well educated and honest in my relationships. And although I have these qualities I still cannot make the right choices in women. Every woman I have ever tried to become involved with has broken my heart, lied to me even stolen from me. The women I have dated have been the "Bad Girls" and the "Good Girls" (so they claimed), but each time its always something. My last relationship hurt the worst. We dated for three months and I was very upfront with her about my issues of trust from prior relationships. She was family oriented, career minded, could cook and my kids thought she was great. By month 3 I found out she was married and she went back to her husband.
I just can't get it right, I don't want to be a detective in every relationship I also don't want to be a dog because I wasn't raised that way I just want to be happy & settle down. To have someone to share my success with and not to use me as a crutch to make themselves feel good then when there self-esteem comes back to toss me aside like yesterday's newspaper. I don't know what to do anymore. I've never felt the love that I see on Tv or that my mom & dad has or even my brother & his wife share. I'm never left out and its never thrown in my face but when we all do things as a family I'm still left all alone. I want to be able to trust a woman again someone besides family or my best friend.
I will admit I don't mind being a shoulder when someone needs one because we all do sometimes, but who's going to be mine. I've rode in on my horse only to be knocked down again & again. I don't want to get back on anymore.
Should I just give up, are all the good women gone.
Have you thought about WHY you keep choosing these women? In the three years you've been divorced, have you figured out why that marriage didn't work? I'm not trying to blame you entirely, but we do make choices based on our past.
I found I kept being attracted to the same type of guy, until I figured out why. For me, I like being needed, so I wanted to be with someone who is messed up. Well, guess who ended up messed up? Yes - me! Now, I am only interested in men who have it together, and I'd rather be on my own if not with someone emotionally healthy.
So no, don't give up! There are nice women around; it might just take a little more time to find the right one.
As well educated as you are, you didn't get as far as you did by giving up. NO! All the good women are not gone. The thing is you sound great but you might be scaring some women away. Don't throw yourself out there too soon to a female because sometimes its a sign of weakness and women don't want a weak man. If they sense this, it can cause you pain because they will just use you.
Don't turn into a dog, Just fall back a little. Don't explain how hurt you been in the past to women so quickly. Let the relationship grow and let them learn about you.
Also, Be stern. Find out all you NEED to know about the women you are getting involved with (i. E. , married women). Some women are not all they seem to be. Follow your heart, you know what's best for you. Sometimes its harder to find a good women at your age because most have already been through it all and don't really care about your feelings.
But to end this, don't give up. There is really someone for everyone. Good luck! Be careful and keep your eyes open.
You seem to be a good sane man. There are plenty of good women out there. Unfortunately, you haven't been lucky enough to find the right one for you. Plenty of people go through this everyday and they ask themselves the same question. But, Don't Quit! Keep dating and you will see that sooner or later that women will come into your life when you least expect it! GOOD LUCK!
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 5 months ago
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