Although some of the actions are confusing. I really need some advice about a recent relationship. We have spent every spare minute together since we met, he has been very attentive, called every day and spent the weekends with me alone. I've met his family, he's met mine, and he tells me he cares deeply for me and enjoys the time we spend together and that he would rather be with me than anywhere else. HOWEVER, what I don't understand is that he is still online at a date site where we met eventhough he knows that it bothers me (we are past casual dating, etc). He hasn't been divorced but about 6 months, although they were separated for around a year before that. So, perhaps he just doesn't want to commit too soon. And ALL I want right now is a "I'm only seeing you" type of committment. I am very confused about this. I could use some advice. He has treated me so well and spent so much time with me and helped me with my home, loaned me a nice car to drive (so I don't spend so money on gas in my SUV) YET, he still is ONLINE on dating sites. He says he is looking for "friends", but these are DATE Sites. Does this make sense to anybody? Should I just move on or try to understand? In some ways I think I am just scared of being hurt again and want to get out before I do. I know I fell for him too quickly and it appeared that he did for me too. He told me he loved me one time and I think it scared the wits out of him at that point. What should I do. HELP please and thank you.
youngbangerz
(Age:18 to 24)
When: More than a year ago
Well. I see it like this. If he has you and cares about you a lot what the hell is he on the dating sites for? That's a dating site, it's not like he is on myspace looking at friends. This is the shit I don't understand with people sometimes. It's little things like this that can piss a person who is really commited off. If we are not doing it then why are they doing it? If they are so happy with us why would they be looking on dating sites in the first place? YOU GOTTA REALLY THINK ABOUT IT. Does he show you what he is doing on those sites? I can see if he was open about it and showed you what is going on and there is nothing to fear, that would be better. I would really worry just because I had past experiences and those are some of the first signs.
If it hasn't been too long that you are dating, and if everything is going so well, I would say wait a bit more. You have been hurt and so could he be. A year and some change is probably still cutting too close after a marriage and he might be in shock that he found you, as much as you are. Saying that he loves you might also have scared him a bit. He might be out on those sites just to see what's going on, in case you decide to move on. Meeting the family, spending time, compliments, loaning his car are all very good signs that he is into this for the long haul. I'd say, don't bother him going online to those sites. On the contrary, you can joke about it and ask him if he has found anyone better yet or not. And don't try to understand why he is still on there either. Just enjoy the time when you are together.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
My first ideal date would be going to the movies or out to a casual restaurant. I would wear jeans with a pair of flip flops and a regular Hollister or AEO t-shirt. The date ends with a mid-long hug or just maybe a light kiss.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
I would let my date know my interests and goals in life. and pretty much random things just to lessen the tension.