Ok so I really like this shy guy. He's really quiet and really smart. Well last year(i was a freshmen in hs), I wanted to ask him to the spring sadie hawkins dance. I decided to break the ice with him by leaving a note in his locker. It said something sweet like "you should smile more-you're cute when you smile". I didn't sign it. I left him another note like a week later, and this time it was a poem my friend gave me. I didn't sign this one either. Then finally a week or something later I left a last note in his locker, telling him how impressed I was with him answering questions all the time in class (i know-- I like smart guys! What can I say? (-: ) and this time I put my initials at the bottom. I think he knew it was me by now, but we haven't talked at all (ever). So finally one day I asked him to the dance while he was at his locker. He said that he "really didn't go to those sort of things" (the dances). He didn't say it meanly or anyhting, and smiled at me a lot when he was talking. He asked me if that was okay, and I just said 'oh yeah, its fine' or something. I accepted it, but still liked him a bunch. For the rest of the year it was really akward, in class and in the halls. fast foreward to this year (sophomore). I've changed my look a lot, like my hairstyles and wearing makeup to school. I would definitely say I look a whole lot better then I did last year. Its still been awkward in the halls, up until about, uh, a couple weeks ago. So this whole year we've had to pass each other every single day in the same hallway after first period. This whole time, we normally look at each other, sometimes make quick eye contact, then look at the floor as we pass. There's almost NEVER emotion on his face. Most of the time my friend walks with me, but he's always by himself. Occasionally we see each other in the halls between classes, but it still plays out the same. I have no classes with him this year. We have a couple classes near/ next to each other, but its always weird. We have one lunch together. But in the last two weeks things have gotten more comfortable in the halls. Now we hold eye contact a little longer and I just feel as much tension. I feel like he's starting to like me back, and I still like him. I just don't want to ruin by by talking to him in a 'bad' way or messing up. What can I do to get him to like me?
The best way to get a shy guy interested it to go up and talk to him. Keep it casual with no pressure for the first couple of times. Once you are in his comfort zone, he'll be the one coming up to you if he's interested.
You need more than a hey in the hall. It is obvious you want more and you won't know if you two really like one another until you actually have a conversation. You're going to need to instigate the conversation but in a calm way that is not overpowering (you don't wanna scare him). Next time you are going to see him in the hall, tell your friend that you have to talk to someone and you'll meet up with her/him later. Then when you see him just walk up to him and say something like "hey, I was wondering if I could get your phone number (or aim sn or even email). " make up an excuse if you want to "I was gonna ask your opinion on something but I don't have time right now, don't worry it's nothing bad". That could give you a chance to talk to him with some space between you. So he can rest his nerves. Another option is find out if he is in any clubs and see if you can join up and talk to him. Hope it helps. Be confident and don't worry about it.
Okay. As a shy-smart guy, I'll tell you how I've opened up to some girls. He's not going to respond to a girl who has feelings for him, you need to be his friend and make him feel comfortable. Can't just jump in, sorry. "But what is he comfortable with? " Well, academics. Play a little stupid and flirty, but don't take it too far. If you act like you are trying really hard to do something well academically, just don't quite get it, ask him how to do it, and flirt just a little bit (smile, be polite: thank him, then move onto flirtier moves when you feel you can), then he'll feel special. No one has probably depended on him before, so he's going to feel really good that he can help. He'll be in his comfort zone with academics, just get him to talk about that and help you. The more you get him to help, the more he communicates with you, the more comfortable he will get with you. But you have to play the part, really really act like you're trying as hard as you can and he makes everything easy for you because he's smart (and complement him on that). If you don't act like you care (hopefully you do anyway) and act like you depend on him he'll catch on to something and not know what it is and feel used, not what he needs to feel. You feel me, or do I need to rephrase or go deeper?
Well, you should know that those "quiet, smart" guys will tend to show little public emotion as they are, not surprisingly, shy. But you never know, one on one, people like him may be COMPLETELY opposite. Outgoing, talkative, you name it (see BringerofDawn's "Personality Synthesizer" article).
Back to your question. There are 2 general things that you have to do if you would like to have a shot at starting something with him. First, you need to show him that you still have an interest in him. It has been awhile since those notes, though this time I would suggest a little more direct approach, which leads me to number 2. When you go about speaking to him and/or asking him out, it is ESSENTIAL that you create an environment where he feels comfortable speaking to you. If he is not comfortable, then you have no hope, and things will only get more awkward. The 'how' part of this is up to you. Maybe find a common topic of interest (not dances! ) that will allow him to demonstrate his 'smarts' around you. After all, you are attracted to his intelligence, right?
Just let the pieces fall to its place I sound to me that thing are getting more serious now but wait a little longer and see that you 2 will eventually talk and maybe even go out but you just have to give it time. Don't rush things ok.
First of all, when you wrote all of those notes to him, he had no clue that it was you who wrote them until you left your initials. Even then, he may not have had a clue who it was. However, when you asked him to the dance, you expected him to know that you liked him. The problem with that is that you never really gave him a solid foundation of knowing who it was that liked him in the first place, so you probably surprised him and caught him off guard when you asked him to the dance. You're "dancing" around the subject with this guy - not really giving him any concrete evidence that you really like him. In his mind, you are probably just someone who smiles at him a lot. He does not notice you because you are too afraid to approach him! You need to find a way to be more forward with this guy! Just because a guy is shy doesn't mean he is afraid to connect with you once he knows for sure that you truly do like him. Shy guys just normally don't really initiate stuff (unless it's with totally embarrassment). But, they normally aren't afraid to have a relationship once they're in one. If I were you, I would quit beating around the bush with this guy and let him know once and for all that you like him - write him a note and actually sign your full name this time, ask him if you can sit with him at lunch and have a conversation with him, or find out other ways to approach this guy to let him know you are interested. But, don't assume that he knows you like him - that is what you have been doing so far, and it has not gotten you anywhere! You sound like the "shy" one in this whole thing! Go for the gold!
Talking to him would hurt. Ask him if he wanted to hang out with you sometime. don't say anything specific. if he says no maybe he's just not into you but if he says yes then find out what he likes to do and do that with him.
Okay, I've only been in school for about eight days, just to let you know. And I've never talked to this guy before. Sorry for all of the girly...
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