Ok here I am again. I met this guy who was wonderful, caring, affectionate. You know, who it always is in the begining. I made it clear on what I wanted and was looking for in the begining and what I did not want. I expressed my trust issues but of course I guess a lot of us do that. However my guy has now changed. He explained to me that he has adult adhd. I researched it and realized that now that he is comfortable in the relationship some of the signs are showing. However enough is enough. He will not make concrete plans with me because he never knows what he is doing. I will cook dinner and he shows up 3 hours late ( this only happened once. ) He is not as understanding as he once was. Now he started working nights and has not called me at all, all week. I have been doing the calling, I have been doing the texting. When I do talk to him it is for a few minutes. I have expressed my feelings to him and he says things are going to change, he loves me, he wants to spend his life with me, and if we lived together things would be different. He is a few years younger then me and I understand that we are on two different levels but my god. Common sense people. One I would never move in with someone if you can't make it work when you live 3 minutes down the road and I am certainly not going to move in not to see you, just to be there to pack your lunch and wash you underwear. Ok so I love him, or should I say I love the person I fell in love with and now that person is gone and I want him back. What do I do. It is so hard to say look this is what my expectations of a relationship this is what I want and what I can give. Here it is guys in a nut shell take it or leave it, because they all lie, they say they understand and 6 months down the road you want to kick yourself for believing it once again. So my question is what do I do now that I once again let my feelings get involved, I fell in love, Someone help me get some sanity. And guys is there any normal ones out there? What should I do about this one, should I give it time, give him a chance to change, he is under a lot of stress, but hell so am I. I am still there for him when he needs to vent, cuddle, someone to talk to. Help Help Help. Sorry I am very frustrated today.
People are on their best behavior at first meeting and then over the course of weeks, months or years, you meet the real person. It looks like that is what has happened to you.
It sounds like your expectations are reasonable. If he is unwilling to be marginally responsible, he is unlikely to bring you happiness. I generally take the presence of a mental health diagnosis as a warning sign. For some reason, people believe the label excuses them from behaving like a grown up.
I know just how very tough this can be. After you've dated someone for around six months you and your partner are a lot more comfortable with each other. I'm sure when you first started dating he tried much harder to keep his stress and his problems to himself so that you wouldn't think he was just some big crybaby. Now, however, he has come to depend on you. He relies on your love, relies on your support, he needs you. Plain and simple.
I know this because it's exactly what happened to me. I know that it's hard to take the stress from your life, the stress from his life, AND the stress your relationship is under. I know how it feels to get the sensation that everything going wrong and you have no idea how to fix it. The biggest question that you have to ask yourself is "Is he worth it? " Do you love him that much that you're willing to endure this until his stress level is lessened?
It's a lot to bear. If this guy is someone you really love and someone you do want to spend the rest of your life with then he will be worth fighting for. If you think that there might be another guy out there who's more compatible with you then give it a shot. It's hard losing that shoulder to cry on and that support but in the end you'll be better for it. It sounds like you've already tried talking to him and he keeps making empty promises so I guess it's time to make a decision.
Or at the very least let him know what might happen if things don't change. Perhaps the realization that he is at risk of losing you would be enough to get him to take notice of the way he's mistreating you. In the end when you make your decision just ensure that you stick to your guns and don't back down.
Well.ma boyfriend has been acting all moody for awhile now.n he doesn't talk to me properly.this happened b4.n then he went bak to normal.i duno if...
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 5 months ago
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