My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 months now. We have had some ups and downs and some reaking time within these 3 months - mostly on her part because she usually had some change in thought. But, I am very happy that I am still with her because it has given me a chance to learn more about her. Yesterday, however, we decided to hang out so I took her out for lunch and after that we chilled at my place. We were sitting down watching some tv and just talking when she brings up one of her friends and how her friend is now living with her boyfriend and how they are very happy together. I knew what was coming so I tried to change the subject. But, as much as I knew what was going on, she was faster at it. She has decided for the fact that she is moving in with me. She is determined that we are very happy together and that there won't be another type of dilemma with our relationship. She thinks we should now live together to be a stronger couple.
Now I may seem like a bad guy here, but I am not ready for something like that. She's a great girl. I love her but I am in school right now and I need my own space. Plus we have only been together for about 3 months - which (to me) makes her decision even more unacceptable. I was of course taken aback by this and I told her to relax and not worry about that. I told her that we should take our relationship slow and learn more about each other before moving in together. I assured her that when the time feels right - I'll ask her to come live with me rather then her asking me now.
She is now mad at me for this. She thinks that I don't love her - which is not true. I just think 3 months is too soon to be moving in with someone. I feel like I need more time with her before I can be comfortable in letting her be my "spouse". Am I wrong here? Is my decision wrong? What should I do?
She's making this relationship really hard to work with and I am not so sure if I can keep up with all the drama she creates. How should I handle this? I'd appreciate everyone's honesty in this and Thanx in advance.
You should be way careful, because my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now, and within the past few months we have learned even more about each other, and I think that if we had moved in together within the first three months, the things we have now learned would have caused so many more problems. You guys need to find out way more about each other and each others' personalities before making such a big decision like that. It also sounds like she is pushing it too much on you, you should try telling her again that you will tell her when you are ready for her to move in with you. Sorry I couldn't be of more help, but really the bottom line is that I don't think you guys have even been dating long enough to consider taking such a big step like that. Hope that helped :)
You are right to think that 3 months is much too soon to be moving in together. I think that it's VERY unfair of her to expect that you would agree to her moving into your place. Aside from that, from the sounds of it, she basically made the decision yourself without consulting you. The fact that you guys have been having difficulties so soon already will only spell disaster should you decide to move in together. You'll see each other on daily basis and you just might end up loathing each other.
I'm not trying to degrade your girlfriend by saying this, but she seems a tad bit needy and clingy by forcing you to move in with her. The fact that she thinks that you don't love her by not moving in with her.that's emotional blackmail. She's trying to make you feel bad by not conforming to her own needs. Selfish much? If she really loves you, she'll respect and understand your decision. If not, then there's something more to her wanting to stay with you.
Also, relationships are hard true. There'll be problems that require both parties to work on, but it shouldn't have to be THAT laborious. If you find that you're fighting more than enjoying each other's company, then don't you think that it's not meant to be? Maybe you guys are just too different for each other. Perhaps she needs someone who's going to want to cater to her needs and always put her interests first. I don't know, but it should be a two way thing. The fact that she made this big decision by herself for the both of you.that's really bothersome to me. Next thing you know, she'll decide what you should wear, eat, when to go out and where. Seriously think it over. Is this someone you really want to be with?
I know you 'love' her/really like her but you shouldn't have to compromise everything for someone who's not willing to do the same for you. Don't let her push you into having her way because the moment you do, she'll think she can demand anything out of you. Stand your ground. If she can't accept that then she's not right for you.
3 months is WAY too soon, and as she is not respecting your choice here, well, honestly, that'd just make me think what's going to happen when you two do move in and you make a decision to do just about anything? Is she going to get mad at you just because you don't agree? A big part of being a "strong couple" is supporting each others choices, even if you do not agree with them.
But yeah, I would just try and stress to her that you don't feel ready yet.
My significant other and I were about to move in with one another after just a month or two of dating, then, I spent about 2 weeks with him at his apartment, and just in that two weeks, we drove each other crazy. We learned so much about each other and came to the conclusion that we were really not ready for that big of a step together yet.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
First dates are tricky. You want to impress but not go overboard. My ideal first date would start with dinner at a restaurant with an atmosphere where we can get to know each other. I'd wear a pair of jeans, a dark button down semi-casual dress shirt and a leather jacket just in case she gets cold. We'd go dancing after the date if she's up for it, after which I drop her off at her place.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
She'll hopefully know I'm not the worst dancer she's ever seen, that I have a good sense of humor, and that I'm a good guy. Other than that, you've got to keep yourself somewhat a mystery because if you spill your entire life story early on she's going to lose interest pretty quick. Hopefully, if everything goes well, she'll also know she can kiss me back by the end of the first date.
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