Getting hurt, Anybody agree with me?

lol straight forward I see! I agree with you 100%.

i think that people who get hurt 96% of the time set them self up for being hurt by someone I've only ever being hurt by one fella and I learned from him that my heart isn't always right !

and I don't get why us girls (not talking about me but other girls I know) try change there boyfriend he is the way he is he's not going to be a cheating so and so and then meet you and suddenly stop!

but for every bad relationship there's something new learned about yourself or life etc.


but we can't have a wall up every time because we fear getting hurt that's just silly

as I say don't have regrets because at one point its what you wanted

You make some valid points but at your age it is difficult to always know what you want. I am not the same person I was at 25 nor 35 for that matter.behaviors change, opinions changes.

I don't always think that it is because we don't see people for who they are, we do, we just chose to ignore it or think we will change it.and when it doesn't happen the relationship starts having problems and it ends.

I don't think your a chimp on LSD when it comes to picking woman.!

I believe that each person passes through our lives for a reason and we learn and it help us to discover who we are and what we do and don't want in a relationship.

If my previous relationship didn't end I wouldn't be co-writting a book with a wonderful friend of mine who is already a published author.

There is always something learned, something gained.and we can all feel it when we get over the loss!

Yes absolutely!

I don't know about men, but a lot of women - myself included - seem to see men's "potential" instead of who they really are.

Sure, he COULD be kind, thoughtful, respectful and generous. But he IS a lazy, self-obsessed loser. And no, it's not some kind of rough exterior that the "right woman" can somehow wash away.

Why do so many women think this? I wish I knew. But at least I know better now.

BTW, I love your line about the chimp. You're very funny!

I totally agree with this.

I have dated a lot of different guys out there and I am still surprised that people, in general, have the common idea that they can figure a person out and decide if they want to be with them just by their looks and/or the price tag on their car.

Finding the right person should take time and effort for the person looking. We need to take time to gauge the integrity of a person before deciding that a handsome face can win us over. Or, how he/she treats a humble stranger vs. how successful he/she is with their career or financial assets.

I have been very patient in my search and I too get tangled in the loneliness of not finding my Mr. Right. Some of my girlfriends believe that having a hot guy with a fat wallet in their pockets gives them a sense of security, even though his wandering eyes and crude remarks show lack of character.

I too can go on and on about how we created this in our society and keep feeding ourselves these false images of "the perfect" person. Or what we should all strive to be as people sharing this world together and treating each other with decency and respect but it would never be as sexy as me ripping off my shirt in front of a panel of men listening to me. That's just the way we have wired our society to pay attention to each other.

Funny how so many fall into this trap and we find how incompatible we really are when it is so late in the relationship and we end up hurting so much. Truth is, dating is tough. We are afraid to put ourselves out there for fear of rejection. If only we were more honest with each other and cut out all the B.S. Also, we should be upfront with each other and tell each other why we don't feel the compatibility as opposed to making up some lame excuse as to not hurt the other person, and at least be real with ourselves if it is truly a superficial reason. Truth will only make us stronger.

i very much so agree with u

Yeah, I agree, you have to protect yourself. But for some people it's hard because of their approach. I've never had a hard time dating and because of this I've acquired the ability to put my feelings on hold and not get too invested in a relationship until the time is right to. A friend of mine is the complete opposite, he finds a girl he likes, then goes in guns blazing puts all his feelings on the table and eventually is heartbroken.

This doesn't mean turning off your feelings completely per se, just treat a relationship as a gradual process. Don't play all your cards in the first hand so to speak, you've got to save something for later or it becomes boring. Also, for the guys, girls easily feel smothered when you start acting too serious around them about your relationship.

It's not necessarily about making premeditated choices but just choosing the right time to take your relationship to the next step. Some guys just have that two weeks and let's get married approach that NEVER works. Just focus on taking it step-by-step.

I would have to agree with you. And this is coming from the guy that gets walked on by females all of the time. One thing you might consider is making sure that you are not putting "the women" above everything else. I have a horrible problem with meeting somebody and falling in love with them way too quickly and I end up stop doing the things that made me happy that I did before I met her. You don't want to put her needs above your own unless she is willing to do the same thing. Easy to say, harder to do. Good Luck to you.