Okay so basically there's this guy. We met at this one party and we hooked up.but unlike any other hookup we continued talking for hours and hours a day and it seemed like things were going fine. I decided that because he's just here for summer, I don't want any emotional attachment that would lead to heat break, a ruined summer and shitty memories. So my school ends for summer vacation in about a week and then ill be free for about 2 and a half months and I figure this would be the perfect time to hang out with him. Anyways, last week I was sick and missed a couple of days of school and we would just talk and text for hours and I was rly happy that we weren't falling apart after not seeing each other since the weekend when we hooked up again. But this friday when he came to visit my school he acted weird and barely talked to me when I jokingly confronted him about the issue he said that he was sorry but he hadn't seen his ex in a while. His ex goes to my school and I understand that even after their breakup they're still friends. I didn't know how to respond to the text so I just left it be and I talked to him on msn the next day. I don't know if it was just me but it seemed like we weren't as alive as usual and the conversation just kept dying. We later saw each other in the city that night and spoke briefly.everything seemed okay I guess. It feels like when I'm with him in person everything is fine and my worries go away but when I'm not with him I get stressed out about everything. Also after we saw each other it looks like he hung out with his ex.idk if it was just the two of them that night. OK so I feel a little threatened sure but I just don't know whats going on with him. Until then I'm just waiting until I see him again to patch things up.but by then who knows what'll be happening with him and his ex. She has a boyfriend now and all but I don't know how she feels about her ex or how he feels about her. I don't wanna keep thinking about this. I cant. Does he still have feelings for her? Are they just friends? What should I do about everything?
Unfortunately, it really isn't possible to tell if he has feelings for her still. You've only given his words, not the emotions or body language/expressions that accompanied them. If he "said that he was sorry but he hadn't seen his ex in a while." depending on how he sounded and his body language that could mean a couple things:
1. He had a bad breakup with his ex, and it was harder on him than her. 2. He was just innocently going to say hi to an old friend, who just happened to be his ex. 3. He's worried about something.
or some combination of the three.
You also have to remember you aren't dating this guy, you made a point of that, you and him are just two people who hooked up and now talk. He might not know if you'd be upset if he fooled around with another person.
If everything seemed okay now after talking to him in the City then that's good. If you can overcome the turmoil of his ex showing up in the picture, it should be fine. He may have apologized because he knew she would make it awkward for you. The most important thing you can do is continue to act casual like you originally acted with him. He isn't your man, so what he does with other people is out of your control as of now.
As for whether or not he and she are friends, they're either friends, or still trying to repair bad blood. Again, depending on his emotion and body language/expression.
It sounds like you really really care about this guy, I won't pretend to know how much, but I'm pretty sure enough you want to date him. You didn't want a summer romance but it sounds like that's what you also want, so you want two things that go against each other. It's natural. You don't want to be hurt, and you want to be loved. You have to figure out what you want to do with that. Do you want to take a chance or do you want to break-off all contact with him right now?
Feel free to update the question or ask more questions, I'm here to help :)
Hey :) thank you for the advice I really heard what I needed to hear. okay well here's an update, the ex has gone off to college he we're both still here for most of the summer but he's working at some internship for like most of it but he has his days off & stuff. we chilled the day before yesterday and hooked up but I thnk the ex is pretty much outta the picture at least for smmer. I haven't talked to him since I chilled at his place but he's been working so I understand that. I'm leaving for - A month ago
Question Asker
Vacation for a week so I probably won't see him..i don't rly know what to do while I'm away tho..do I continue talking to him? or should I wait until I get back. I guess my biggest fear is that I'm gonna be used for physical stuff because that's happened to me a lot before and I just feel like ill always be second best. how can I like put myself out there and make it obvious to him that I care without embarrassing myself by asking him or acting too clingy or too in his face - A month ago
Answerer
I see no reason why you couldn't talk to him when you're on vacation, though I have no idea what this "vacation" is, so I can't really know if it's possible to talk to him or not. I'm shady on my memory, but you started out with him as Friends with benefits, right? You started this relationship off on the wrong foot because the baseline is FwB. It'd be natural for him to assume it won't be anything more, or that you don't feel anything more. If you truly want things to become more serious, then - A month ago
Answerer
You're going to have some difficulty, but only because you don't want to tell him how you feel. The most natural and normal way for one person to let the other know he or she is attracted to him or her is by attention and mood. If you're giving him lots of attention, wanting to hang out a lot, and smiling and just being really happy, that gives off an impression of "like like". As for avoiding FwB with him because you want to have a real relationship with him, there really isn't anything you can - A month ago
Answerer
Do. (if you still refuse to tell him your feelings). If he calls you up to have sex, and you don't want to do it, there's nothing you can do or say in response to that (short of pretending that you're busy to avoid him), which can let him know you want a relationship without letting him see your feelings.
"I'm afraid I'm being used in a relationship which was founded on the principle of a hookup."
You see the ridiculousness? I'll stop here and let you respond. Cya later. - A month ago
I'll keep it brief. Hercules had some good points but you won't know for sure unless you ask. Just tell him how you feel about your situation (whether you want a summer fling, wondering about his ex, or whatever) otherwise you'll being stuck in the circle of doubt. Don't just speculate, jump in to action and communicate.
Right girls I need your help!I am right now dating this really nice girl.We already went out twice and everything worked out well. She laughs at my...
View Answers
Well my girlfriend broke up with her ex then like a week later we started dating for the most the part we have a great relationship but when we...
View Answers
(Age:Under 18)
When: 2 months ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
