My boyfriend and I of 7 months just split up. we are still in love and want to be together but he feels lost and wants to make the right decision by me. We both agreed that marriage was a serious thought between both of us. I think he doesn't want to make a mistake(he wants to be sure). We both had financial issues we needed to work out as well. So in a nut shell he wanted to be alone without a relationship because he claims to be unhappy with himself. He feels as though he needs to be happy with himself in order to truly be happy with me. I did not want to break up at all. He felt it was what he needed. I feel if he loved me he would not have walked away for any reason but I want to give him space. We still talk we see one another not too often but we still do see one another. We want to be mature.
My question is: Should I cut him off altogether(show him what life would be like with out me) or should I stay as close to him as possible (showing him I love him and I want to be the woman in his life) or is there a happy medium? Please help!
From someone who went through the exact thing take it from me when I say "just give each other some space" a month, two months, who knows? But when he finally realizes that he wants you in his life than things will heat up again. But if you guys don't re-kindle than it wasn't meant to be, and there's nothing more wrong than trying to make something that isn't right, right. Even though you say you guys still love each other , doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship with each other. Things happen for a reason, and if they're mean to be then they'll just happen. I promise
There is a happy medium, be there for him, but don't always be availble whenever he calls. Let him know that since you are no longer together you are starting your own life, doing your own thing and have time for him, just not too much time and not all the time that he wants. If you cut him off completely, he'll begin to think you never loved him and question your love. If you stay as close to him as possible and always be there for him, he will take it for granted and think why should I be her real boyfriend when I can have the best of both world's because he'll know he'll always have you there no matter what. However if you are around for him but not all the time he'll think, god it's good when she's around, I wish she could be around for me all the time. And he'll begin to miss you because it's so rare and good to have you there.
I think you guys need some time apart to rethink and reflect on yourself. It seems that this guy definitely needs to reflect and get his priority straight. Otherwise he'll be confused and his mind will wander.
sallyandL
(Age:25 to 29)
When: More than a year ago
I'm still confused WHY you two split. If you both love each other, and you both agree that marriage is too soon, then why not continue dating? I don't understand when it's marriage or it's over.
But because you said he feels lost and wants to be sure, that leads me to think maybe he needs to sow some wild oats. A man that puts the one he "loves" on the back burner just to get some action with other girls is bad news. I would cut him off completely.
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