This girl and I have been interested in each other for about 3 years, but every time we have actually almost gotten together, I have screwed it up. She has told me that she doesn't want to get together with someone if he is not going to be around in the future. I have not made any promises to her because I wasn't sure where things were headed and did not want to hurt her, but told her that I would try to stick around. I'm not quite sure that she believes me because she seems to still act like she's afraid I'm going to leave at any moment and does not seem to want to make a commitment to me either. I think that I was probably sabotaging the relationship in the beginning because of fear of commitment as well, but now it's as if neither one of us trusts the other. I don't know how to move past this without making a commitment to her that I'm not sure I will be able to keep. I think that I have not made a commitment to her because she has not made one to me. I really love her and want to make a commitment to her but I'm totally scared! What do you all think?
I've experienced the same situation from a guy. I was on the receiving end of his antics. This made me crazy but came to realize he was projecting his issues, indecisiveness and insecurities on me. In my opinion I think she's reading how you feel .You are unsure of yourself and she can tell. If she can feel that or get that perception from you she probably doesn't want to risk getting hurt in the end, so she's keeping things the way they are. This is not to say she doesn't have feelings for you, but she's probably guarding her heart. If you're not true to yourself about what you are truly ready for how can you convince her of the same thing? you can't. I say remain friends for now. I think once you become more self assured person and comfortable in your own skin you'll know what to do or at least be more certain as to how to approach her. Good luck.
I think it maybe time for you BOTH to make that commitment . You said you love this woman so what more do you need ? See I don't think you need to make any promises to her because promises are made to be broken, but I think you can go in with the only the best intention's. So she may not believe you right now show her otherwise. I assume you 2 have much to talk about , but putting this off only further complicates everything and really this is a no brainier. Its been 3 years if she didn't want to be with you I don't think she would still be here and vice versa. Please just don't end up being one of those people that always wonders what could have been. I 've been that girl and well it sucks .
Thanks - yeah, I really do love her but I guess I'm just not sure whether she's in love with me or not, but I really do want to try to work things out with her. - 5 months ago
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 5 months ago
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