I have developed a friendship with a man. We email and talk frequently. The problem is we are both married. When we communicate he never talks about his wife. Is that normal? Should I be cautious?
Ok just the fact that you posted the question means you already have reservations about your friendship with this guy. How long have you known him? Has he ever talked about his wife to you or anybody else? If he hasn't complained about being unhappy, then just enjoy the friendship; let him enjoy it, too. One last thing: how does he (re)act when you mention your husband?
I have known him for about 3 years. He talks about being in "funks" but never talks about being unhappy with his marriage. If I see him out in public with her, he is a much different person than I have come to know. Very withdrawn and not smiling. He typically doesn't look my way if he sees me when she's with him and then other times he makes the effort to say, "Hi!" like we are brother and sister. It is very strange. - 3 months ago
Answerer
If he is in a "funk", acts differently around you in public/when his wife is around, and is very withdrawn, then yes, he probably has different intentions than you. Does he have any other female friends that he is as close to? That he mentions? You can/should remain friends with him because your support means a lot to him, but make sure you lay out some guidelines/boundaries so that he knows you are a friend, without benefits... - 2 months ago
First of all if he is talking all flirty with you and you are just being nice.this is a bad sign. if for one moment you start to feel uncomfortable.get out of the friendship.because it will only get worse from there.
Be very cautious. The only way male/female relationships ever work is if NEITHER party is attracted to the other. I've had what I thought were completely innocent friendships with guys only to have them make a revelation years later about their true feelings. Inevitably, the friendship is always destroyed. It's never a good idea to get too close to a guy that's married or otherwise involved. I'd leave that one alone. Good luck :)
So, married guys aren't supposed to have female friends? How were the friendships you had with those guys who revealed their feelings "years" later? Apparently the friendship was both good and strong enough to last years. - 3 months ago
I'll agree here, a friendship can only stay a friendship when there is balance. Once one party starts to leans towards an attraction, stuff starts to fall apart.
Like you've commented on pete-67, he's different around his wife (unnatural). I'd take that as a "bad sign." You maybe his escape from his marriage, I'd start to pull away if I were you. - 3 months ago
It's perfectly fine and certainly possible for a woman and a man to be friends. I have many close friendships with guys that aren't at all romantic or sexual. However, I think you should ask about his wife, bring her up as a subject of conversation. After all, she is (or should be, at least) a major part of his life. If he's reluctant to talk about her, then perhaps you should ease back before things get out of hand. Also, be sure to talk about your husband as well. It's definitely possible for a man and a woman to be friends, but especially if you're both taken, you need to make sure that no one is getting the wrong idea.
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