A lot of questions. Need answers from guys

10. I think it would it take some of the fun out of all of this if we all just walked around with a light on our bellies that turned green whenever we were interested in the person we were speaking with. What I mean is, for me, part of the fun is just feeling out the other person and getting to know where they're coming from. We don't operate the same way because we're not wired the same way. As many people package it, and many comedians talk about it, girls are much more emotional than guys, and guys are much more physical. While this is far more cut and dry than how it all really breaks down (in my opinion) it is true to some degree.

The only real help I can offer here is spend time observing people. As I've said, I've always been a big listener, and as such I've spent a lot of time watching and listening to people interact. After a while you begin to understand that people may each operate in their own way to an extent, but if you pull the camera back far enough, they're all following onto a certain path somewhere along the line. Once you become familiar with how other people operate the opposite sex doesn't seem so confusing.

11. As said above, its not always so confusing. I know for some guys they're entirely clueless about virtually anything a girl does, why they do it, or what it means. I used to be like that, then I spent all 4 of my high school years observing people, I didn't realize I was doing it at the time but I was becoming very familiar with people and learning to pick up trends of behavior. While I must admit I'm very far from having the female brain entirely figured out, I've definitely gotten to the point that, for example: when I go out to dinner with some friends and our waitress comes by and she's being what a lot of people would simply call friendly, I can tell if she just wants a nice tip or if she's somewhat attracted to one of us. Most of the time I can also tell who it is she's interested in. You just have to stop thinking of people, especially the opposite sex, as something incredibly complex and confusing, and just start reading them like a book. The signs are all there, and you'll soon pick up on them.

8. Once again this is mostly covered in #5. If throughout your time with him he acts as though he's in a hurry to be elsewhere, he's anxious, impatient, or acting almost as if you're an inconvenience, he's waiting for a chance to bail. If he shuts down every attempt at conversation by closed responses like 'yes' or 'no' that leave you chasing the tails of the conversation trying to keep it going, he's probably not all that interested, but he could just be shy and a bad conversationalist.

9. In all reality, as I've said many times here before, there's no real way to 'make' someone be interested in you, the choice is in their hands.

The biggest way to get other people interested in you is simply to be more interesting. I know it sounds like a smart ass answer but if you think about it, its true. Try to present yourself as a dynamic person. If you're trying to get a guy to like you but he gets the feeling that he's got you entirely figured out after 15 minutes of conversation.your chances of having anything substantial with him are shot.

If you're interested in him let him know. You don't have to blatantly come out and profess your interest in any guy that tickles your fancy, (although if you're dropping hints and he doesn't see them then you just might have to spell it out.). People will only work so long for absolutely no benefit. If the guy spends too much time with you getting the feeling you're entirely uninterested his fire for you is going to die out eventually. It doesn't have to be anything major, a lot of guys respond to physical contact from girls, even if its just a touch of the shoulder our something.

I don't know your exact age but once you get into the 20s and such for some guys its important to them to know that you can take care of yourself. I've run into girls that can barely pay their rent, or even just sustain their lifestyle. Being able to support yourself is a nice thing. I've met girls who are looking for a guy whos well set financially who can just carry them through life and support them, while the girl just floats on the guy's work. I've seen personal ads with girls who're looking for guys with high end jobs and good pay. Frankly the idea of having to shovel out for a freeloading girlfriend makes me want to run away screaming.

Maintain an appealing physical appearance. I get a lot of flack for my borderline "No fat chicks" comments but I just shake it off, there's more reason to keep yourself in good condition than to simply be attractive, but that's a different road entirely. For the most part, people don't like to make decisions based on unknowns, but on what they know. Guys are going to score what they know about you against what they're looking for. And when they're just getting to know you appearance is a very strong factor. As they get to know you more it gets to be less and less important. Especially for guys, since they're more wired for physical interest than emotional, if you want to be interesting, look it.

4. Yes. Most guys know that if they're on your family's good side pursuing a relationship with you will be a whole lot easier. They don't have to be deceptive, sneak around, or constantly worry about when your father is going to step in and smash everything to pieces, etc. A guy that's trying to make good with your family is most likely interested in being a relationship with you for as long as he can.

5. This is where understanding body language and the way people operate helps a lot. Granted, every guy works differently. If it seems like he stands closer to you than he does other people, or whenever you're in a group he's in a place where he can hear you and see you constantly, maybe he's even always directly across from you, he's at the very least interested. If he makes light jokes and is playful with you, especially if he teases you in a playful manner, he is definitely interested.

While this isn't always true, sometimes people just do it.If he leans away from you when you're sitting next to each other, sits with his arms crossed, or stands with his arms crossed in a manner that seems more closed than relaxed, or if he in any way is constantly in a position that feels like he's making himself closed off or off limits to you, he's most likely not interested, or shy to the point of sheer horror.

If you catch him looking at you and he looks away he probably likes you, unless when he looks away he starts laughing. If you catch him looking at you and he makes a point of making his gaze meet yours he's definitely interested.

6. Yes and no. Its not humanly normal for anyone to never socialize, humans are social creatures. But everyone operates differently. Some people are very shy when they first meet new people but open up later. Some people can talk for ages and don't care who knows it, while others say very little, but listen intently and only respond when they feel they need to or that they have something worth bringing to the conversation. I personally am very comfortable in small groups of people, if I don't know many of them I spend more time listening. If I'm comfortable with them I get a lot more talkative. In a large group of people, however, I'm almost always silent in the background. If the guy is just not social as often as most other people, that's probably alright. If it seems almost like he's actively avoiding social situations there's a problem there.

7. Most everything I said in response to question covers this question pretty thoroughly. The best way of course to find out if someone likes you is ask them out and make sure to do so in a manner that means more than just hang out as friends, if he says yes he's at least interested in you and willing to give it a shot. Important: Do not hint at anything sexual when you invite the guy out or allude to anything of that nature unless you intend to take things in that direction, because you'll have a lot of guys who will go along with the date just on that brief hope of getting laid.

1. A lot of people act differently when they're with their friends than they do when they're by themselves. Its a coping mechanism, its part of feeling vulnerable and exposed. Especially with guys, more personal matters are generally not all that spoken of unless with close friends. Things of emotional or personal nature are well guarded and ignored. This guy being different around his friends is a result of that. In many cases this isn't something to be too alarmed at if you're just meeting the guy, but if it doesn't die off quickly ditch the bum. This isn't limited to guys, I've dated a fair share of girls that do exactly the same thing and have even ended relationships because of it. This is just how people work.

2. Yes and no. In a general setting if I see some random girl wearing something way to provocative I'm more disgusted than attracted to be entirely honest. But then again that is me. Some guys really don't mind a girl skanking herself up and parading herself around. these are also generally the college guys who aren't interested in much more than getting your pants off. For a guy that's interested in you, really, as a person, this is more of a turn off than anything else, because slutty clothing makes you seem shallow. Guys do enjoy, however, if every now and again when you're being intimate you wear something a bit more exotic. Its something you're doing for him because you're into him. And for whatever fault it may carry, one of the biggest turn ons for a guy whos already into you is knowing you're really into him too.

3. This depends. If you try to contact him and he doesn't respond its entirely different than if he just doesn't contact you. Are you being receptive or closed off? I've been -really- into a girl before and tried to show her a night she wouldn't forget but because she had the "I don't even give a damn" sort of disposition I lost all my zeal and moved on to something worth my time.

I've also been in a position where when I was with the girl everything felt right and we had the best time together, but when we were apart I was doubtful and unsure if I should even pursue her, for a large amount of reasons. For a lot of people the initial response to an uncertain situation is to leave the situation unchanged until a solution or appealing option arises. This could be why he doesn't press anything. Even in this case, however, he would probably still talk to you.

There's a decent chance this guy may just be trying to play you if he blows you off for weeks on end then randomly will show up and wine and dine you. Think about it, if this guy was truly sincere about everything when he was being nice to you that night, wouldn't he find 5 minutes within those 2 weeks to shoot you a phone call?


Because I like the list you've compiled I'm gonna post more answers in my next post.