I have been with this guy for just over 3 years now. He was in an accident when he was 18 and started taking Narcotics to alleviate pain. With encouragement of friends, he started not taking them for pain anymore and started abusing them. Now he's a pill-popping, junky and I can't hardly stand him. It makes my skin crawl to have to be around him. But I can't leave my son with him for a weekend, none the less a week at a time. For one I can't have him falling asleep on and not watching my son, who runs constantly and gets into everything. What if he got into the knives or the pills?! I don't know what to do about him. I need some insight on the situation, from anyone and everyone. Advice, words of wisdom, anything that might help.
I'm not sure the state should leave the child with either one of you. What kind of example are you setting for your child by staying with a person who behaves like that?. People like that really make me sick, because I have friends who are married that can't have children of their own due to medical problems. They would give anything to be parents. They are seeking adoption options of course, yet here you are.producing another fine generation that will continue to guide America in the direction of being a superpower that holds global influence and prosperity amongst it's populous.i don't know if I should laugh or cry.
I think you went off the topic here, the woman is asking for the advice on what to do to get out of this situation and you seem to be concerned about some other post. why don't you keep this opinion on where it's more likely to matter? - 4 months ago
Why are you still with him if he is waste of skin?
We have junkies in our family. They don't get to be around the kids unsupervised, ever. Its a pain in the ass but I won't have my kids getting hurt because I was dumb enough to trust someone who isn't trustworthy.
Pray first, only God can change someone, especially when they don't know they need to change. Second, try to find an Al-anon, or equivalent for N-A, meeting where you can listen to the stories of, and get support from, people who are going through similar, "significant other" situations. Third, is he on the birth certificate? If not, move on. If so, confront him and start building a case for having his custodial privileges removed. Taking care of your son is not ratting out your boy-friend, and no matter what, the damage that is being done to your son's soul is not worth whatever comfort you may get on a random basis from the dad. You and your son are precious. Both of your souls and spirits are precious. You have protective mechanisms that are being strained by this situation. Don't force your son to develop them, because what he develops regarding his dad, will effect every other relationship in his life, including with you. If you don't want your son to be rebelling against you, as if you were his dad, fifteen years from now, don't subject him to it now. Remember, no matter what you do, or what you have done, God respects you and loves you enough to fill your lungs with oxygenated air and keep your heart beating. Don't let anyone treat you like you are less than a princess, who deserves to be lifted onto a pedestal and protected from the very things this guy is subjecting you to. If he accuses you of something, remember that the accuser is your enemy. God differentiates between you and your actions, He says things like "Now Diva, you know I love you and I think you are adorable. You're smarter than that, and too precious to be selling yourself short." Your enemy says things like "You're just stupid." No matter whose mouth the words come out of, the enemy can even use pastors and priests, don't let the accusations land on you, take them to God and ask Him to deal with them, helping you sort out the truth and let Him take away the pain. Jesus died so you could give Him your pain and sorrow, on the cross. Very few people, if any, will ever die so you could live your life in freedom from the bondage of pain, sorrow and anger. Ask Him to make Himself real in your life and He will. He is alive and He will use other people to show His love, but they are never representing Him when they are accusing, judging, condemning or hounding you. Jesus pursues you in a peaceful manner, so do those who represent Him.
Well, I assume you tried to talk and it didn't work out, that's why you're asking for advice here. That's a really serious concern, but I think you should leave him.There's really nothing else you could do. I don't think there's a chance he could choose between you and pills, only strong with high morals person would choose to throw pills away. In such situation, there's no talk about love and it doesn't matter that he's the father of your child, if you're logical and smart, you'll leave him, because HE WILL NEVER CHANGE! Believe me, I know so many situations like this, where women decide to wait if he'll become better and he never does! and he ruins her life! He might only be able to get rid off that habit, if you move on and create your own life without him. Trust me, it will be better for you and your baby living in safety.
ok, maybe you can have a serious talk with him about how his pill abuse has affected how you see him and your concerns about the safety of your son. an addiction is a sickness and he will only get help when he is ready. but remember, the safety of your child is your responsibility.
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