So there's this guy, Adam, that I've known basically since birth, we've grown up in the same church, we are good friends because of this, and also our parents and families are very close friends. It all started a couple of months ago. We had a dance at school where the girls are supposed to ask the guys. I was talking to him online about it and this guy I told him I was thinking about asking. He asked me to describe him and I was like "oh he's cute and he's got this teddy bear look about him when he's smiles, but when he's serious he looks like a military man, and he's very sweet to me" And then he goes "hey that sounds like me!" So I jokingly said "oh so are you going to take me to the dance?" And he goes, well I could. But I'll have to check with Nicole to see if its ok. (Nicole was his girlfriend at the time that he claims he was in love with) Well, its like a week before the dance and then out of the blue he asks me what day the dance is and I tell him, and he goes, "oh shoot that's the same day as ours, sorry I can't go with you then." He told me that he would have gone with me, but he can't leave his girlfriend alone at the dance. So basically we got into our first fight ever because of this stupid dance. But eventually it passes over and we're almost back to normal. Then fast forward a couple months, and this girl he really liked dumped him.BUT, he's never told me this himself. His brother did. We have this teen class for our church, and we were eating in the kitchen, and I was like "does somebody want to split a lemon square with me?" cause they were huge, and his younger brother kevin goes "adam does." But he was like no thanks I already had one. So I keep eating and adam goes to wash the dishes. So while his back is turned his brother comes up to me and tells me that she broke up with him. And I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret so I guess I was like "aww poor baby" a little too loud. So Adam turned around and saw us Kevin was like ohh I've got to go cause he's looking this way, but I told him to tell me what happened later. But we never got the chance to be alone so he could tell me. Which stunk pretty much, but I've gave him some space after that, because his grandpa had died like the week before she dumped him, so all together he was very miserable. But now that its been awhile, he still is distant with me. We're not like we used to be, which was really close. I can tell that he's avoiding me. I like him a lot, and I'm upset that's he's acting so strangely. He's honestly a really nice guy,and I would love to be more than a friend for him, but since he's been acting this way I don't know what to think!Also, I'm scared to tell him how I feel, because if he doesn't like me it could jeopardize our friendship. What could be going on with him and what should I do? Please Help!
Whew. That is a tough one. He likes you. He wants to care about you, but he is conflicted. How close was he to his grandpa? If they were close, has he really grieved the loss? If he hasn't, who is holding him back, and why? What did she say to him before, and during the breakup? Also, what does your pastor teach about the death of Christ, and who is responsible? When I was thirteen, I my best friend died. Because I didn't have a chance to grieve the loss deeply, I began making inaccurate conclusions. I already knew that I killed Christ with my sins, so I deduced I must have killed my friend with my love for him. I didn't know how to differentiate the fact Christ died for me, from the lie that I killed him until much later. That lie affected every relationship I had for over 25 years, because I felt, notice rational thinking is not involved here, that loving someone cursed them to die. I have just recently grieved his loss deeply and grieved the losses associated with this lie. So. What to do? Pray first. Isaiah 53 says Christ took our sorrows, so we need to be willing to grieve them, so he can use the tears to irrigate the wounds of our soul and suture the wounds. Ask God to heal him, and use you in the process, if that is appropriate. Ask God to do whatever is necessary in you so you can be a healthy servant, rather than an unhealthy stumbling block in the process. God will bring up stuff for you to deal with, about yourself. He will also use you to listen to Adam patiently and compassionately, so he can feel safe to open up to you. Adam may not want to associate you with the pain he is feeling, which can be okay short term, but makes a terrible coping mechanism. Be patient, but persistent. Let Adam know that, no matter what is going on in life, you will pursue him and that he can trust you not to hurt him, and to listen without judging. If he didn't care he wouldn't be avoiding, but that is why the acronym for denial is Don't Even know I Am Lying. He doesn't know what is happening beyond the fact that he hurts, and doesn't want to hurt anymore. Let Christ use you to prove he is the lover of Adam's soul. Who knows where God will take it from there.
Hmmm so do you think he likes me as more than a friend as I like him? In answer to a couple of your questions, he didn't get to see his grandpa very often, due to the fact that he lived in another state,i believe that they were close but I'm not sure. For awhile after he died Adam was blind to everything going on around him, but you could tell he had a lot on his mind. It seemed like after about two weeks though he was almost back to normal besides it was awkward between just us. - 5 months ago
Answerer
My take is that he probably does like you as more than a friend, or would, if he could allow himself to, like to explore the option. Why don't you pray and ask God to present an opportunity where you can listen to him, where he can open up, and where God can prove He loves you both, and will use you to prove it, if you allow Him to? - 5 months ago
What Girls Said
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(Age:Under 18)
When: 5 months ago
this is what you do . I understand he's miserable and I'm sure you've given him enough space but that excuse is tooo old and lame. I'm going to tell you the truth. HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU! I know any guy that was even into a girl regardless of a someone breaking up with them or losing someone close would open new doors and be with you if they really like you. not make the lame excuses that can only be used for a week. some guys will not admit that their not into you so they'll show it, so don't waste your time trying to get together with him move on and have fun some guy will find an amazing girl like you he'll be missing out. Don't ever tell a guy you like them first that will be a huge mistake.
I like this boy in our school he’s in 8th grade like me. He's nice at me and of course to everyone else. When I'm with his company he touches me than...
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I like this boy in our school he’s in 8th grade like me. He's nice at me and of course to everyone else. When I'm with his company he touches me than...
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(Age:Under 18)
When: 5 months ago
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