I have been hanging out with this guy for the last four months. We've spent a lot of time together talking, listening to music, watching movies, etc. We have also had sex. During the time that we have spent together, he has always been sweet and very caring towards me, even during sex. He hugs and kisses me and cuddles with me. He holds my hand and tells me that I can always talk to him about anything. He always asks me if I am ok and comforts me when I'm upset. He even stood in front of me on the sidewalk so I wouldn't get splashed. Recently, he even cried (I did too) as we were saying goodbye to each other because he had to move back home, which is 2 hours away. Before he left, he made me promise to visit and promise that I wouldn't stop talking to him.
Anyway I've talked to him about my feelings, that I like him and care about him as more than a friend. He acts like he cares about me, but he never tells me. He hasn't said that he likes me, but at the same time he won't even say that he doesn't like me. If he doesn't like me, wouldn't he say something? Could he just be stringing me along for the sex? Is he scared? I honestly don't know what to think. I'm afraid to ask him about it because he might shut down completely on me, but I feel that after everything we've been through that I have a right to know how he feels about me, even if its as nothing more than a friend. At this point I'm not expecting anything from him, I just would like an answer. Any advice on how to approach this?
First off I have to say ask if you want to know for sure, secondly chances are if he is cuddling and being affectionate to you he may have considered your relationship with him as more than just friends, and perhaps he doesn't think he has to say it and expects you to know by how he acts towards and around you.
Perhaps he's the type of guy who lets his actions speak for themselves (you know the saying, actions speak louder than words). I can understand the frustration though.
When you truly want to know how someone feels about you, you have to come straight out and ask. If you can go as far as expressing your feelings about him , then you might as well just flat out ask him about his feelings about you. You're leaving room for him to not give you the true answer you seek, if you're just simply expressing your feelings and thoughts without questions to ask. Insist that he'd be absolutely truthful and honest with you out of respect for you as a friend. He may not tell you his true feelings about you because of the fear of hurting you so don't behave or react in a manner that will hinder or scare him from telling you the truth. Make him feel that he can trust you enough to be able to tell you his true feelings for you. I find that men will be more truthful and open to a woman if he feels that she's not going to go psycho on him if she's not getting the answer she wanted. Be patient, understanding, and calm despite whatever answer you're going to get. Try to be prepared to be able to accept . any kind of answers he's going to give you so you won't be crushed and freak out. Only way to get answers is to to ASK, ASK, ASK the source.
You are never going to feel right inside until the situation is resolved one way or another. I think the best thing is always to express what you feel and ask the hard questions even if you are afraid you may not get the answer you want, at least you will have closure and can move forward either way. - 2 months ago
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