I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and we have had a pretty good relationship. We get a long exceptionally well, have a lot in common, have similar goals. We do have one problem. About 5 months ago he was talking online to his ex, saying they should meet and talk and see if the have closure or if things are still there.I found out, confronted him before they met and then basically said you can't go meet her then expect me to be waiting back here for your answer so we are going to have to break up. (He dated his ex for 3 years and the break up was bad, she dumped him and he took it rough. ) After a long discussion it came to the conclusion that he wasnt going to meet her and that I'm what he wanted. I wasnt so sure at first, but I could tell he was sincere and that he was torn. So from that point we have just had several arguments over it because I'm completely insecure now, always crying and getting upset because the minute he treats me differently I automatically think he's talking to her or going to meet her. We just had our anniversary last week, I got a beautiful gift, and I really felt like things were finally on track. He is generally very very good to me. Now this week we had a fight where he all of a sudden didn't want to hang out for like a week because we have been spending too much time together and that made me so upset because it wasnt like him to do that. He's also not calling me and is calling all the shots when it comes to plans for the weekend which I'm accepting because we haven't gone a week without seeing each other except for when I went on vacation. I just feel like I'm loosing him. Am I?
Your insecurity will cause you to lose this guy. Obviously, you have an issue with trusting a guy and it is your problem not his. You are letting this girl get to you and your giving her what she wants "A possible chance."
If you two keep fighting, his x might start looking good to him again.
You see even though there break-up was painful, we sort of forget that pain. it's sort of like labor pains they are very painful but we still get pregnant again.
The two of you need to agree that the subject of X's won't come up again, let's face it talking about X's isn't the healthiest conversation.
You also may want to seek some counseling to deal with your fears and insecurity. (don't worry we all have them so some degree)
You know when woman act jealous, needy, and insecure, it really turns a guy off and this is why so many guys don't want to be in exclusive relationships, can you blame them?
Men really are from Mars and Woman really are from Venus. We need to accept our differences between gender and if we could all do that we would have more successful relationships and marriages.
Remember the two of you should compliment one another no more , no less.
Funny I just wrote a story/articles about X's who harass with phone calls, text and via email. Read it and while your at it read my other two articles it may help you to understand relationships a bit better.
Good luck and I am sure that you are a wonderful young woman who loves her boyfriend and just has a bit of fear!
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 5 months ago
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