I have been with my girlfriend for a year. I am a VERY monogamous guy who loves to focus all his attention on one girl and one girl only. We had been in a very serious relationship and were talking marriage for most of that year and then things got bad and we broke up. She could not wait for me to give her the ring and was angry that I had not proposed yet. During the month and a half that we were split up she and I were still having sexual relations and she kept on telling me she loved me and wanted to get back together but I needed time. I was not dating other girls during this time but she started dating other guys right away. She developed feelings for another guy during that time and had dated him for a couple weeks when I finally realized that I wanted to work things out. By that time she was not sure who to choose and I told her that if she really liked this guy to be with him but that I would not allow her to be having sex with me and date around any longer. It would be all or nothing. She chose to be with me and we became exclusive again boyfriend and girlfriend and I explained that by choosing to be with me she would need to cut it off with him. I kept getting weird vibes from her from that point on for about a week while she was telling me that she didn't know if she made the right choice and didn't understand why she could not just date both of us. I explained to her that because of how serious our relationship had been that it was all or nothing.that I could not be with her and have her be with other men. That if she wanted her freedom then I would call it quits on us. I got into an accident about a week and a half after we got back together where I split my lip open and had to get 11 stitches. That day she said she was going apartment hunting with a girlfriend and then out to a movie with her but she stopped my after I had the accident before I had been to the doctor for the stitches. I asked her if she would come with me to the doctor and she said "No I just need this time for myself" and she left. I found out the next week that she had gone to dinner and a movie with the other guy and that she was telling him she loved him. All while she was telling me she loved me and having sex with me. When I confronted her about it I basically broke up with her but with her crying and pleading I took her back. Close to a month later I find out that a couple weeks after this she had started texting him and having long conversations with him again. She promises that he was only trying to help her find a job and she does not see anything wrong with keeping him as a friend. She insists that she can keep all her X's as friends and talk to them as much as she wants as long as she does not have a ring on her finger. I am incredibly frustrated by her because she has a history of cheating on her past boyfriends as well. Is it ok that she keeps these guys as friends? I know she does not like it when talked to mine so I never do!
She is just using you for sex and comfort- but only when she wants it. Don't marry a girl like this, you'll regret it later. She is cheating on you over and over again with this guy and seems to think that she can keep doing so because you keep taking her back. Stop putting your health and heart at risk for someone who doesn't care. She went out with him instead of coming to the doctor with you when you had just been in a car accident? That's pretty heartless.
No, don't give her any more chances. She is being completely unfair to you and will do so whether or not there is a ring on her finger. If she can't be monogamous now, why would she be any better later? Ditch her and find a girl who is worthy of you. It sounds like you really deserve someone so much better.
A typical cheating girl. She can talk to her ex's but she wouldn't like it if you talk to yours. Once a cheater always a cheater. She sees you as a fallback guy, the gullible sensitive guy. She may love you but she doesn't love you enough to be honest with you. But she is using you and your just beginning to notice it. There is no excuse of saying that she isn't doing anything wrong because she doesn't have a ring on her finger. That is a bullshit excuse. You shouldn't have to place yourself in this situation and you seem like a really nice guy who doesn't deserve to be treated this way. So tell her straight, your either with me or not. If she says not, kick her to the curb and if someone who is worth your time.
You are going to lose this one. She isn't monogamous and you aren't willing to change. Even if you convince her to stay, she will eventually resent you for forcing her to be someone else just to please you.
The sad thing is that it is quite possible that she really does love you but your beliefs make that meaningless. I don't date monogamous people anymore for this reason. They aren't capable of understanding that is possible to have more than one friend and still love all of them.
Sounds like this girl is desperate to get married and is using coercive techniques to get there with you. Unfortunately, her behavior is making her out to be someone that you shouldn't get married to.
Her opinion is that a ring ties her to only one person and if that ring isn't there, then she can play the field. This does not help in forming the basis for a lasting relationship. You can't build a relationship with one person if you're dating several people.
I don't think she's going to change so that means you have to. Accept it or say goodbye.
You see, I have a similar problem with my girlfriend. She and her second to last ex constantly text each other (she despises her last one). She says that she's happy they're friends, and that they get along much better that way. She still lives with her parents, but the guy visits her house every now and then. Her parents love me, so I don't think they'd let something go on behind my back without alerting me to it. But this is where my story changes; my girlfriend is extremely sweet to me, except when I piss her off; she then goes to find another guy to talk to. Whether or not she's cheated yet, I don't know. I'm pretty sure she hasn't; she told me that she's always had guy friends because she just doesn't get along well with most girls.
She has a horrible double standard though. For example, she can take a phone call from her "friend ex," but if I get a phone call from a girl I know, who I never dated or even had sex with, my things get thrown out of the room and the door closed behind me. Some girls are just like that man because they're very insecure. They see it as alright if they talk to guys because they trust themselves to do whatever the hell they please, but they think you're going to cheat on them any second you get. The main point is that you cannot hang out with female friends when you have a girlfriend who's insecure. She might be the sweetest girl in the world, and she might love you to death, but when she sees you talk to another woman who might be more attractive than she is, she gets very defensive. So, the way I see it you have a few options -Talk to whomever you damn well please behind her back -Don't talk to any girls but her (but you better make sure she's worth it to you; I love my girlfriend unconditionally, so I find a common ground by limiting the number of women I talk to) -Dump her ass and stay single for the rest of your life, because a large majority of women are like this, and the bummer is that you probably have to chose one of them (no offense intended toward you decent women out there).
The thing is I don't need any other girls in my life. I am the type of guy that really does not mind cutting off all other relationships with women other than the one I am with. I do not see sex as a recreation sport. I was a virgin till I was married at 24,married for 4 years, and was completely faithful to her even though she would not have sex with me. I have only been with 2 women since and both of them were girls I was talking marriage with and were separated by a full year of being single. - 2 months ago
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