My girlfriend and I are very happily together, but we don't get to hang out as much as I would like. Which means that she hangs out with her friends alot. Her friends are mostly guys because she "doesn't like the drama that hanging out with girls brings". I have no problem with that, but what I do have a problem with is that one or more of her friends have told her that they are interested in her and are waiting for her to "dump her boyfriend". But since they are her friends she still hangs out with them, and puts up with their little "intrusions" past the "friends line". She also joked with me that "If you ever screw up, I have fallbacks now"
Am I supposed to be okay with this? I want to be understanding and chill, but for some reason I have this feeling that I'm going to get hurt by not doing something.
What am I supposed to do, I would love for her to stop talking to these jerks. But I can't ask her to get rid of her "friends" can I?
I understand why she doesn't like hanging out with girls because for us, it really is hard to find girls who are chill. But joking around about her "fallbacks" is kinda messed up! Just ask her how'd she feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Or take advantage of this situation to do something (not bad) that she might not like. the ball is kind of in your court. Flip this situation to your advantage!
Well it's ok to be disturbed by her friends, but remember its your girl not theirs. And I know you don't wanna ask her to get rid of her friends but, just sit down and tell her that her friends disturb u. Then tell her that you are ok with her having friends but you feel like you might get hurt in the end.
But I'm afraid that if I say anything like that, she will think that I am neurotic and don't trust her. - 2 months ago
Answerer
Yes I see why you are saying that, but if she really loved you she would listen to what you have to say and she will understand that you are disturbed by her friends, tell her you trust her but you just don't want to get hurt in the end - 2 months ago
No, you should not be ok with her saying that "she has fallbacks". That's a pretty bitchy thing to say (not calling your girlfriend a bitch, but it's pretty inconsiderate saying such things), even though she's "joking". Especially as she's already told you that some of them are interested in her. She's trying to get the upper hand on you by making you jealous, and it's just not something one does towards someone one loves.
As this this tactic is common among girls, she doesn't necessarily mean anything bad about it. It's a normal way for them to try to get reassurance and attention, and they don't realize that they're actually hurting the guy.
That's why you'll have to tell her how you feel about the situation. And while you're at it, give her all the reassurance you possibly can. Also tell her that you want to hang out with her more (because you love her, not because you want her to hang out less with your friends) if your relationship is to work out well.
An open communication needs to present in any relationship in order to sustain stability.
If it bothers you, talk to her about it. You're not being overbearing or over protective. Obviously it bothers you enough to make a post here about so tell her about it and work out a compromise.
If she doesn't appreciate your honesty and goes on the defensive side, maybe there's something to actually be concerned about (disregard this last comment if it raises your suspicion, as you have nothing to be suspicious about. yet).
Tell her to imagine if you had a bunch of girlfriends of which some took interest in you.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
First dates are tricky. You want to impress but not go overboard. My ideal first date would start with dinner at a restaurant with an atmosphere where we can get to know each other. I'd wear a pair of jeans, a dark button down semi-casual dress shirt and a leather jacket just in case she gets cold. We'd go dancing after the date if she's up for it, after which I drop her off at her place.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
She'll hopefully know I'm not the worst dancer she's ever seen, that I have a good sense of humor, and that I'm a good guy. Other than that, you've got to keep yourself somewhat a mystery because if you spill your entire life story early on she's going to lose interest pretty quick. Hopefully, if everything goes well, she'll also know she can kiss me back by the end of the first date.
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