we were dating for 2 and a half years. and this happened about a little more than a year into the relationship. He was on a cruise with some of his friends, and I was in florida with my friends. The story that I have heard from everyone else is that he was in one of the rooms one night and this girl who was drunk (and I guess had already hooked up with 2 other guys on the trip.so kinda a whore I guess.).well she came onto him and said lets go do it and I guess he gave in. he told my friends "what was I supposed to do, say no? it was hard to!" well he came back and told me he had danced with a girl but that was it. I had my suspicions and we even broke up soon after but got back together and it never affected our relationship at all. we were just fine and when I came back from spring break he was even all excited to see me and everything. and a few months later was the first time we had sex-which I believed was both our first time. he never talked to that girl on the cruise ever again.
well we broke up back in january and we've hooked up a few times and we are still friends and talk all the time. he just wants to be single. and does not want to date me, he wants to see what its like with other girls, which I can understand because we had only been with each other and we are still pretty young. but I found out about this whole cheating thing finally.and I was very upset at first but I do realize this girl came onto him, he didn't initiate anything, he was with all his single friends on the cruise, it never affected our relationship and he never talked to her again.
So, my question is, I really want to know from his perspective what happened, but don't know if this is a bad idea? should I call him and ask to meet up with him and talk about it? it would make me feel better to hear from him what happened.and why.and all that stuff. I really am not even that mad anymore, it happened in the past, we are broken up, and are friends with eachother.and we lived with it for the past year and it didn't affect our relationship. I'm more upset than anything. I just don't want to create any more drama, and don't want it to affect us. do you think he would get mad if I asked to talk about it, because it was so long ago? he knows that I found out about it. we still care about eachother.and I don't want to be immature and ignore him because I'm not like that.
I think you should ask to hear it from him to put it completely in the past. Explain that you just want to hear it straight from him, you won't be upset, that your past that anger stage. You just want the truth from him, not everyone else. I've been in a situation similar.only no cheating involved. More like breaking up for another girl, but then over night he realized he made a mistake and less than 12 hours later we were back together but he never told me the real reason for the break up til a couple months later when I confronted him with the truth and then he admitted to it. I wasn't as mature about it as you are with your situation. I let it affect things to much. Props to you for being so mature! I believe he should have been honest with you from the start. Especially because you two were supposedly one another's firsts. Anyways, good luck. Hope you get your talk!
I feel like he owes you an explanation, no matter how much he doesn't want to speak about it. You were loyal to this guy and if you guys are going to be friends you should have been able to trust him. He disrespected that friendship.
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