Ok, say you have a fetish(for whatever) and you find a guy or girl who shares the same exact fetish. You want to get in a relationship with them, (a good one, not like a one nite stand or hook-up meetings)
but what do you do to make it work? and how can you tell if they are interested in you in general and not just entirely the fetish?
My situation: I like this guy and supposedly he likes me for all of me, including the fetish. He says he wants a long-term relationship, but I'm still unsure.
I like him, but I know that eventually our shared fetishism can lead into sex (virgin by the way), but I just want some advice, I'm open to thoughts, opinions, etc positive or negative (watch it all be negative lol) because like I said, I'm still unsure and I don't want to make a huge mistake, so I'm asking de good people here for advice :)
Update: I'm one of the very VERY few people, actually women, who has a fart fetish. I know, I know it's entirely gross, and viewed as a turn off to many people, but it's what I like most.
2 months ago
Update: Ok, now that I revealed my fetish, please haters gimme a break and go answer another question, I already know it seems gross and I'm slightly ashamed of this myself already and it's not gonna help if you have some smart-ass comment to say.
2 months ago
Update: He said he wants his first date wants to involve the fetish, and I'm a little worried because I might go too far and. I have a bad feeling he wouldn't try to stop me if I tried to seduce him into having sex.
2 months ago
Update: The temptation builds and then it has to come out. Ironic considering my fetish.
2 months ago
Update: The temptation builds and then it has to come out. Ironic considering my fetish.
2 months ago
hmmmm. scat without the mess, makes sense to me. I know a lot of subbies who like golden showers so this really isn't that unusual.
I am curious where you found this gentleman. Did you find him via the interest or is he homegrown?
Personally, if you don't have sexual experience, I am not so certain this should be your first encounter. You might want to get some vanilla experience first. It cuts down on the freak out factor.
I found him via the interest, it was a fluke. I haven't had any experience, but he says he does and that he's willing to teach me. It's so crazy. Before the fetish, I never became aroused, not even by videos or fantasies or anything, but when I did discover my fetish, I became aroused. My exes used to fantasize about sex, but I'd never have excitement, arousal or spark of interest whatsoever. Not b4 this. - 2 months ago
Answerer
Hmmm... keyed response. I would guess you have a strongly repressive sexual history? The good news is that it is likely you have a normal sexual response in addition to this interest. It is just simply that this got eroticized (which happens to everyone, ask me about women in plaid skirts).
As I said, I am not so certain you want to make the fetish the first experience because it kind of solidifies the erotic power of the fetish. If you don't masturbate, learn and find more thing that excite - 2 months ago
Question Asker
And it would be a bad thing if it solidifies the 'erotic power of the fetish'? sorry I'm asking so many questions - 2 months ago
Answerer
As we become more sexual, we create sexual cues, things that excite us and get us interested. If those cues are to narrow (a fetish interest) we run the risk of creating a sexual identity that is incompatible with most people Say you were a transvestite male and really liked having sex in panties and a skirt. While you could find a limited number of people who might play, most people will get tired of the same kind of sex all the time. The fetish limits options. - 2 months ago
When he is willing to treat you like the wonderful, precious, awesome gift God made you to be. If he treats you like a princess, without expecting anything in return, then he appreciates and respects you for you. If he focuses more on the fetish, in conversation and/or action, then he is into you for the fetish. Prayer can be a tool, because only God can make it clear, what He sees in another person's heart, by giving you peace and confidence. However, there is an enemy who accuses you, others, and God. One thing he does, other than accusing, is to equate you, or the other person to a behavior, where God differentiates between a person and their behavior. Where God would say "Anonymous, Dear, I love you, but that was not the best you ever did," the enemy will say "See, you can't do anything, you are worthless." Which sounds more like someone who loves you for you?
He also says that he wants a real relationship. It's hard enough to find someone that shares your fetish, so you two should really talk to each other some more.
Just ask him out already! Your first date doesn't have to involve the fetish, so you can get to know him a little more, and then you will find out whether he really likes you for you or just the fetish.
A fetish, by definition, is a non-sexual item that must present for sexual gratification to take place. Chances are that you don't have that, you just have have some kinky interests. It would be really helpful if you had told me what the interest is because I have a really good idea of the populations of certain communities (been doing SM for 25 years).
What I can tell you is that sexual proclivities tend to expand with intelligence and education. People are must more likely to experiment and find things they really like. I would say the majority of people I know have some sexual interests that would get them on a talk show of some sorts. For example, one of my lovers has a foot fetish (really common in men, pretty rare in women). I personally find this delightful and she has opened up a whole new area for me to play with.
I will tell you that finding someone who shares your sexual interests is a treat and something to be cherished. I will tell you also that a lot of people will fake an interest in your particular kink to get closer to you. I wish there was a good way to ferret these out but they do slip in from time to time. If they don't volunteer for the activity, that is a good indication that it might not be near and dear to their heart.
No matter what your interest is, I am certain that there are other people out there who are interested. That means this particular guy isn't a once in a lifetime opportunity (and I don't recommend anyone get into a long term committed relationship until they have had a number of lovers).
There are lots of books on lots of interests. If you tell me what your interest is, I might be able to recommend some reference material.
Seeing how you are asking anonymously, why don't you just tell us what your fetish is that you have in common with this guy. Odds are someone else on here may have the same fetish and would be able to help you out the most.
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