Serious problem part 2

All I can say is that you can't beat yourself up over it. No one can control how they feel about someone. The girl you were dating was honest and upfront about not wanting a long term thing, and you stayed with her because that's what you wanted. You can't force someone into something they don't want. And at the same time, you can't let them take advantage of you, which I think is what she was doing since she was still going back to her ex. If you knew she was waiting around for him, then what was in it for you?
As for your friend, you gotta let her get over it. If she can't forgive you then she's not a very good friend. Plain and simple.
But what you need to do is give yourself space from all this. You're so lost and confused, you need to do some soul searching and find yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love others. So find the real you and then maybe think about reconnecting. If they're any kind of friends, they'll still be there.
Good luck.

oh man. well I've heard a lot of stories like this and actually just recently had to help my friend through a very similar situation. but now lets get to my opinion.

i think you should just take a break from both of them an dont dive into a relationship with either of the girls. Because you do have feelings for both of them, I think you should definitely remain friends with both girls. and don't worry about the girl that's mad at you now, we get over things =] and by staying friends, you can build a stronger bond which may even eventually turn into a much more stable relationship.

dont feel like crap, you did nothing wrong. girls are crazy, including myself. we like what we can't have, and when we get it we sometimes don't fully appreciate it. take things slow and what meant to be will happen. if the girl was also just out of a prior serious relationship, she probably is having mixed feelings too. so don't worry, your not alone.

hope that helped a little =]

Nice guys finish last.the most true saying in there world. Buddy I just wanna say that you're right about the nice guys soon turn into the bad guys. See girls don't know this when they are younger because they are looking for the guys who look the sexiest. But in the end the Chubby/Quiet/Shy guys are the nicest. and yes I said Chubby, I am Chubby myself, but my girlfriend loves me for me and because I am nicer than any other boy she's ever dated.
Look what I say is if you do love this girl, don't give up on her, and if she gives up on you then just think about what you really want, do you want a girl that will give up on you in under a week? Its the same for girls too, Nice girls finish last aswel. Just look out for the nice ones,
the nicest girl who actually likes you could be right under your nose, you just haven't noticed it yet.

Wow. Only a two sentence answer for a 2 page question.

She told you in the beginning (and again at least twice that I can read into this) that she did not want a serious relationship after coming off the 6 year breakup, and you agreed, but in the end, wanted to go against your "promise" and her wishes by wanting her to be part of a serious relationship with you. Forget her (and her/your friend - she will never forgive either of you) or you will continue to be miserable.

Dude your a typical nice guy, why do you feel that you have to give a woman flowers, gifts and pay for multiple dinners, is it because you want her to like you more? News flash women don't care, just like the saying goes money can't buy me love and its true. What is the deal with this what is it about a woman that makes you tell yourself I must do everything I can to not upset her, or I must make her happy, I must treat her like a queen? Dude she's not going to die if you make her mad, she's not going to die if you tell her no, in fact most women want a man who will tell them NOO, they want a man who's in control, who's assertive, and who won't let them walk all over him. If you learn how to do these things you will succeed with women now you don't have to be an asshole but you don't want be their servant either. Ask yourself do you really want to go through life meeting beautiful women that you wish could be your girlfriend , but only to find out that they only want you as a friend and nothing more? If you honestly do then man keep on doing what your doing, but if you want those women to be your gf, then you need to change your attitude stop being such a nice guy. ( If you want more advice on this topic send me a message, I could type all day on this but I just don't want to.)

Bro.

. stop smoking, go the gym, start working out, and get your head on straight.

Forget these girls, start dating other women. Your problem is that your fixated in the outcomes of these relationships you have, with both your ex and you friend it seems.

I think you're coming off SERIOUSLY needy and that's 100% show stopper. Women want guys that don't need a damn thing, and your behavior is telling them everything BUT that.

That's why your ex is like "Friend?!?!" She's looking to use you in a sense. To her, you're a "nice" guy, sensitive, and very willing to do things for her. That's like having a puppy.it's cute, cuddly, that's about it. That's you bro. And the fact that you're an emotional wreck is only making matters worse FOR YOU.

You need to drop all this crap. STOP feeling like crap. DO SHIT that makes you feel GOOD. And get out there and talk to women every you go. Your ship is waaay off course like this.

Trust me I feel your pain, been there done that. It SUCKS. But just know that it's not YOU these girls are rejecting, it's your BEHAVIOR. and guess what you can change your behavior!

You're last sentence clues me in that you're seeing the "game" that exists. It's not really a "game", its just how things work. Focus on those thoughts and focus on self improving. Stop thinking about this dumb girls. if that's difficult to do, then you're not busy enough doing positive shit for yourself. Go rockclimbing, bungee jumping, skydiving, ride a bike, go play some pick up sport, take an art class, learn to cook, play poker, go to museums, anything to get you out of your mindset, RIGHT NOW. And talk/meet/hit on lots and lots of new women. The world is full of them.

That's the fast/best/most fun why to get over old relationships. And when these goofy girls see you with your new found success.believe me, they try to sneak back into your life. . but by then I doubt it very much that you'll find them all that attractive like you use to.

You got a LOT OF WORK ahead of you, so you better started RIGHT NOW.

Wow, that was a long read.

First off, don't spend a lot of money on a girl without her spending any on you. There has to be a balance. Preferably 50/50, not bigger than let's say 70/30. At least not in the beginning. After a while, it doesn't matter that much anymore as things usually balance themselves out.

I also have a personal rule about saying "I love you", and it's pretty simple. I say it if the girl says it first. The second you utter those words, she knows she's got you good, and that will again upset the balance. So keep her waiting, at least until she's desperate to hear it, and preferably even a bit longer. You can of course, say "I care a lot about you" etc, just be very careful about "I love you".

Furthermore, she came straight from a very long lasting relationship. Getting girls on the rebound is good if you only want sex, but if you want something more, you'll have to be patient. Remember that they're vulnerable and confused after a breakup (I guess this applies to guys as well to a certain extent)

Those were, as far as I can see, your biggest mistakes.

Yes, very often nice guys do finish last. However, there's nothing wrong in being a nice guy and a cynic. Don't get all caught up in things and keep your mind on keeping the balance and stay true to yourself. You'll never go wrong with that.

As to what's going to happen next, I agree with what the girl said before me about being friends. At least, don't be their enemy. And do not, I repeat, do not expect a relationship with any of them any time soon.

The most important thing about this, however, is that you've learned from it. Now you should know a little bit better what to do and what not to do. Trial and error, my friend, that's how we learn.

Next time, don't be a "nice guy", be a cynic and spend more time reasoning than feeling. It's not so hard when you get the hang of it. And you don't have to "mold into some type of assholes later on that cheat, lie, etc. " Just put yourself first and be careful not to get suckered.

Oh, and most girls start asking themselves "Where do all the nice guys go?" as they reach their mid-20s already.

Good luck and cheer up!