Commitment at 23?

Well she's obviously angry at you.I mean.it seems like you were stringing her along if you had no intention of this ended in marriage! This is probably me being bias.but what you did was a bit harsh.

But about the cheating part.were ye still going out when she slept with him?! if so.long distance or not.then of course its cheating!
But if ye had broken up.and even if the break up was still fresh.its her choice.and she probably did it because she's angry with you!

Hope I've helped! x

First of all I would like to congratulate you on the level of maturity you have expressed at 23, it is a breath of fresh air that someone your age has a grasp of reality that is rarely expressed even with guys twice your age.

Secondly your girl is immature or the communication hasn't quite got to the point and you probably didn't understand the needs of each other.by doing what she is doing she is venting she feels hurt and as a result has hurt you both physically(CHEATING with another guy)
and verbally lashing out and trying to hurt you that way.

have you spoken this direct to her as you are in your question to us?

let her know how you feel, what your plans are and what's your worries,dont assume she will read your mind,see if you can reach a happy solution either to stay together or end it and move on.

this decision should be made by both of you, all these questions should be answered by her and yourself cause you are in a relationship go straight to the source.

and good luck with whatever you decide

Interesting topic.but life works out the way it is suppose to weather we like it or not.

This girl did not see that you were an amazing person worth sticking around until you got on your feet to commit. It is her lose. You sound like the type of guy that wants to be a provider in a relationship at this point in your life you were not ready. If she was not willing to wait she's not worth it, yes she did cheat. If you love someone, sleeping with someone else does not come that easy.

There is going to be an amazing girl that will come into your life when you least expect it and she will be willing to see you through everything. From 21 to 23 as a young adult myself I have changed in leaps and bounds. I am still who I always was but I have learned a lot and I would image you have too and am continuing to being grad school.

This girl just might not be worth your time and energy right now, maybe some day down the road she might show up in your life again but for now, take care of yourself.

of course that's cheating. if you guys didn't officially say its over then, it's cheating. your better off. When it's the right person, you know. Love has no boundaries, limits, no doubts. so if you were doubting it, most likely you knew it wasn't right. Good thing you got out now before you actually got married

I'd say you're lucky you found this out about her before you got married. I don't see how you go from pressuring someone into marriage to sleeping with someone else. You should probably move on.

Yeah it's definitely cheating since she didn't officially break it off.but in her mind it's over. I'm sure she has feelings for you still since she's talking crap, but after dating for so long at the age you're at I would want to know where it was going as well. Not to say you had to get married right away or anything like that. But after 4 YEARS you should have a very good idea as to whether you see yourself marrying her. If you're not feeling it, then breaking up was a good thing. If you were, you should've had the marriage talk and at least talked about getting engaged but not getting married until you were more settled. I don't think she would've done that if you had talked to her about it. To be honest I might have done the same thing. After 4 years she probably feels like she wasted time on a guy who would never wanted to commit to her.

Well, dude, if she did, in fact, sleep with this other guy, then yes. it's cheating. As far as your thinking a different outcome would have manifested from telling her that you would marry her, that's not something either of you could know. The way I see it is that it may have very well been a good thing you found out about the way she has been behaving before you potentially tried taking another step forward. Would she have still slept around? Who knows. Maybe or maybe not. But think about the potential pain you might have felt if you had agreed to take it a step further and she STILL decided she didn't "want you" after all? I think it's a commendable thing that you'd like to wait before making such a commitment to anyone. I'm sure you're not in the most pleasurable point with her, but broken wings mend in time. Keep your head up and move forward.

Commitment is something that doesn't change after marriage. It doesn't get any stronger. A promise of marriage doesn't make someone more committed; they either are or they aren't.

Sleeping with another guy is cheating and it's certainly not commitment. Time for you to dust yourself off and move on with your plans.