A guy friend of mine (Friends not boyfriend and girlfriend yet anyway) and I have been talking for several months now, and he is extremely shy, but he also knows my boundaries (That I have morals, values, standards) Though we are still saying we are friends we have went out a few times,(We have hugged a lot, and that is it, cause I want to take it very slow, that is just me) but he does have a crazy work schedule, and my schedule is weird too. However it is obvious we BOTH care more for each other than just friends, it is also obvious he is so nervous and maybe scared. So I asked him did he think he could be emotionally available, (we were on chat at the time) and he got real quiet and I asked are you here just answer and he said I do not know how to, I said just say yes or no, and he said I have to go now bye. Hope to talk to you again soon, Big hugs, which are both things he always says to me. WHY do you think he said he don't know how to answer that? What do you think please give me your sincere advice
Okay, prayerfully, because God is the only one with the answer to this, ask him to tell you his story. Especially listen for clues regarding family and friends of the family. He has either learned that he has to answer you the way you want to be answered, from someone, or he has been badly wounded, and accepted the enemy's accusation that his answers caused the problem. In either case, listening to him will allow him to open up. Validating his feelings will help him open up as well.
Don't judge what he says. Visualize what he describes and see if God fills in details he omits. If something comes to mind, test it tentatively, to make sure it isn't coming from the enemy. Respond with affirmation and, even if he tells you something that is hard to imagine, let him know you believe him and are there for him. Help him grieve the pain and let the tears irrigate the wounds to his soul. He likes you. He wants to impress you. He just doesn't know what is expected from him and he is afraid of doing the wrong thing. All of this tells me he likes, respects and wants you.
Yes, I think you're right about both issues. I have been thinking in those same lines. He shows several signs that either he was taught that somehow or has been wounded really bad. I have been trying everything to get him to open up, he says he wants to. I do listen and validate his feelings also, so I will have to wait and see I guess. Thank you so much for your advice...:-) - 3 months ago
Answerer
With the really deep wounds, God, being gentle and kind, will take His time opening them up. The best thing you can do is show him patience, pray for God to heal both of you, and remember that you are there to earn his trust. It may take longer if the person who betrayed him, either by training, or wounding, was representing God in his life, like his dad, mom or someone else he had to rely on for survival, who wasn't reliable. Those are the hardest to redeem because they abused his spirit. - 3 months ago
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I told the guy I didn't like him once and he didn't get it so I just stopped talking to him altogether like 6 months ago permanently. There are also...
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(Age:36 to 45)
When: 3 months ago
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