Alright, so I seem to be cursed with only liking girls who are not available. This is not to say that they are unobtainable; I often end up having as much of a relationship as one can have with someone who is supposedly committed to someone else, but it seems I am subconsciously attracted to girls whom I know I cannot be in a serious relationship with. I do not consciously seek out women who are in a relationship, but inevitably these are the ones that I end up falling for. I am not some jerk that is looking for a bunch of one night stands, I have been looking for a serious relationship for a while now, but when you only fall for girls that are already in relationships, one or two night stands is what you usually end up with. I have even had a three month "relationship" with someone who was in a two-year relationship, and we we're in love with each other. But she was also in love with her boyfriend of two years, so when I was tired of being strung along and told her to make a decision she went with him. I have also had a similar situation where myself and the girl had a serious discussion about us officially dating, and her leaving her boyfriend. After that, I found myself losing interest, so we eventually went our seperate ways and she went back to her boyfriend. So, in summary, my question is, does anyone have ideas? I really want to get into a serious relationship, but that is rather hard to do when you are attracted to girls who are already committed. A friend of mine suggested that I may just like the "thrill of the chase," which is quite possible, as there have been a few single girls that I was interested in when I wasn't sure if they were interested in me, but I completely lost interest in any who showed obvious interest. But any ideas on how to overcome this and accept that the other person is interested and available as well?
Your friend is right. You like challenges. My friend is the same way, as soon as the girl starts liking him, he gets "tired" and leaves. But when that girl finds another guy to go out with, my friend starts fighting to win her back. You like challenge. You like the girls you know you CAN'T have. That's normal, and I don't think you can change that about yourself. The perfect girl for you would be the ones that are hard to get. The ones that make you work for their attention; The ones that never have time for you because they are so busy; The mysterious ones; the ones that keep you wondering. you know what I mean? You asked for tips on how to overcome the person you are. but I really don't think you can. You will just have to wait for the right girl who will challenge you. It might be hard to find her but just be patient and you will eventually bump into her. Once you start finding yourself working hard for someone's love. you will start feeling the value of the relationship, and feel the true love for that mysterious woman. I suggest you quit going after "unavailable" women, and start keeping your eyes open for that girl that will keep you on your toes. They are out there. you just have to pay attention.
I think you main problem is that you keep having pseudo-relationships with these women, and that's all you know. You need to stop starting these relationships because it's a vicious cycle you find yourself in. If you find yourself interested in a girl who is for a fact single, then ask her out, and see what happens. It sounds like you haven't really given any of the single girls a chance because once they show interest, you feel like there's no point in trying anymore. Whereas with a woman who's in a relationship, there's a challenge to see how far you can push it before she says stop. It's a cat and mouse thing, women in a relationship are a more interesting chase for you so you keep going for them instead of the girls who may possibly allow you to catch them. So, the next time you're interested in a woman who is definitely single, ask her out, even before she shows definite interest, because that way, it's still a bit of a challenge for you, but you may find the serious relationship you're looking for.
i think this happens to everyone and trust me it sucks a lot but just because she's taken doesn't mean you should stop talking to her I mean one day she might need a shoulder to cry on or something and I know how much guys hate being in the friends zone but sometimes it could be worth it who knows maybe she might have cute single friends :]
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