Why do I like to ruin relationships?

It sounds like you may be hurting deep inside - Did something like that happen in your life before? Like, were you parents divorced or anything by any chance?

I had the same problem, I always went for the girl in a relationship, almost like it was a turn-on, then for some reason when I broke up the relationship I didn't like that girl anymore I moved on to another one. it was weird but finally I got over this fetish? I don't know the word for it lol. but I found the girl of my dreams and I'm as happy as can be. I became more mature about dating so I decided to try it. you should try it to

Okay, well first, it is bothering you. You may not feel guilt in the moment but the fact that you're posting here and asking for advice shows that this behavior does bother you.

I can't tell you why you do these things. Anyone who doesn't know you well or know your history is going to be able to tell you. My question for you is this: do you take pleasure in hooking up with the guy or in the fact that you made him cheat?

If it's the latter, then that's somewhat serious and you should really talk about this with someone who knows you better. But if it's the former, then you can't let this worry you. I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but I say that you are not the steward of other people's relationships. You're entitled to seek out what you want. If a guy is firm in rejecting your advances, then quit advancing and respect that he wants to maintain his relationship. But if he's playing into your advances, then you shouldn't feel responsible for his behavior. I wouldn't try to strike up a long-term relationship with the guy, but if you want him for a fling and he doesn't have the self-control to stay monogamous, then that's his problem, not yours.

sounds like maybe you subconsciously are sad that you want a good relationship but don't have one, or a relationship, maybe with a parent, is so strained that you are jealous of seeing other people have relationships so you destroy them to feel good about yourself. Its quite admirable that you can come on here and admit it and seek help, I would suggest counseling, or if you can't bring yourself to do that, go to the library or search the internet for self help books about relationships. I wish you well.

Well, I'd say it's possible you've got some personal baggage of your own you've yet to sort out. Old family problems, or friend problems, something caused you to get thrown out of whack.

That's the usual case.

Maybe you were born this way.


Essentially, you like hurting people. You could be a sadist. Keep in mind I find what you've been doing to be absolutely horrible and despicable, but if you have to hurt people, find masochists.at least they'll enjoy it and it won't ruin their lives.

On the flip side, I do realize that those guys should've been more faithful. So while what you're doing is completely wrong to begin with, you can't be completely held responsible for causing relationship problems for them. Just.I'd go see a therapist. It'd take a long time of talking, introspecting, and history to understand the reasons or causes by your need to destroy relationships. The answer could be complex, or simple, there's just no way anyone on this site could know.


Sorry I couldn't be more helpful, and I'm happy you at least sought help for this, which means you recognize it as a bad behavior. So, thank you. That was a very mature thing of you to do. But really, I recommend a therapist.