My boyfriend has done every f***ed up thing imaginable to me but I am constantly taking him back. He has a good way of posting all the blame on me all the time but yet he is the one always apologizing. I want to be with him because I love him but I don't want to go through this all of my life.
I caught him at the river hugging up on some chick and he was drunk. So he says that nothing happened and she was just flattering him by saying that he was hot. Well then he says that I don't show him any affection and that I don't think he is attractive. So that is how he justifies the fact that he was being a whore for the day. He denies up and down that anything happened and that he thought that she was ugly. Well this was all over a week ago and he says that he misses me and I am his soul mate and he can't live without me.
Well let me tell you when we make love it is amazing. The connection we have is indescribable. I think he enjoys it a lot more than me .lol. But we have a great sex life.
Well the way it is right now I can't trust him and I don't know when I will get that trust back. He is willing to work with me and quit calling me names and drinking and all the abusive crap. I have given him every possible chance. Don't get me wrong I have thrown a couple hits at him as well and I know the whole situation is unhealthy. But I don't want it to be over yet.
I want to be a normal happy couple who doesn't fight about stupid shit all the time. I love him but I am emotionally exhausted. Should I give it another go or just tell him good bye, which will be easier said than done!
Update: We have been together for going on 5 years. HE has called me horrible names in front of our 2 kids already. He says he wants to change this time for real.how fake does that sound?
2 months ago
i just went through 2 years and broke up a month ago, lost of fighting WHEN we had sex it was great, I was gonna end it and the day before SHE ended it. a relationship takes work YES .BUT shouldn't have to be exhausting. fighting all the time over meaningless stuff shouldn't happen regardless of the sex. your a hot woman, you'll have no problem meeting men and yes someday the right guy will appear. just make sure you know what YOU could've done better in the relationship, learn from it, and move forward and grow
Battered women normally report great sex so I don't think that is a strong recommendation. Few people start out with the beaten unconscious, it starts with name calling, jealous fits, romantic moments, controlling behavior. It builds over time because you didn't say anything when he called you a bitch so can't really object to being called a cunt in front of your family. Its already violent and will get worse
You have already shown him that you are willing to put up with bad treatment so you can expect more of that in the future.
Each chance you give this guy only digs you in deeper
You are right but do you think that there are things that he could do to get help or is there no hope? - 2 months ago
Answerer
Look at the situation and ask yourself "what does it benefit him to change?" He can have you and anyone else he wants at very little effort. He doesn't have to get better because there is always some woman who is willing to put up with the foolishness. He was doing someone else because of something you weren't doing (it was your fault, not his).
Is he cutting you off from other people (hate your family, distrust your friends)? Isolation is a big warning sign.
Before I was thinking that this didn't sound like a very good life for you and you should probably get out. Still, it is your life so if you think you'll be happier giving him another shot, go for it. Then I saw the words two kids. Now I have to ask what is best for them. Your boyfriend sounds scary. I don't know him so I can't judge, but if you think it is best if they were not raised with his influence you should leave. I don't think you should have to deal with this anymore. He had five years to change. It would be completely justified to say his chance has come and gone.
Well All I can tell you is that if you don't have trust.you don't have anything.and don't you think that if he has done once he will do it again?.and another thing, a man has to change because he wants to change, not because of anyone but himself.think about it. I know that you love him but this relationship is not healthy for you and your kids.
Listen, what you have now is a really bad relationship with great makeup sex. Is that something to base a relationship on? You guys also have 2 kids. What are they thinking when daddy calls mommy a bad name? How does that shape their futures as in how they treat others or how they will be treated?
Sometimes, it's better to call it quits.
Also, what about you? Don't you deserve better than someone who will demean you in front of the kids, rub up on women, is completely unfaithful, and always disrespectful? I say you do.
There is no shame is dropping a bad relationship. Sometimes you need to find what you want in life somewhere else.
Be done with it all if for no one else but the kids.
Im sorry to hear this , I think if there is no respect in the relationship then there IS NO relationship , my boyfriend was very possessive and jealous and controlling when we started dating and he also did the unforgivable , but he did change , he never called me names though, also he s left me many time because of family problems , we have been togther 5 1/2 years and we're very good together but I still don't know I have a hard time trusting him because he has left me so many times , but there is mutual respect and love , he made a mistake one time we were dating for 2 years and then changes completely , the difference is he never disrespected me or blamed me , your guy is destructive to you , you will hurt more in the future because its in him to justify himself by blaming other and in theses cases you. I know you have 2 kids but its better to be alone then to be with the wrong person!
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