The guy I'm seeing at the moment is gone away with his best friends (male and female) to France and he'll be back on Wednesday. At the moment I'm extremely paranoid to the point that I'm literally in tears because I'm so worried he'll cheat on me. I know I'm probably over reacting but that's just the kind of person I am.
He made plans with me to see me the day after he comes back and we discussed the cheating issue and even his friends have said that he told them he wouldn't cheat but because of all my failed relationships in the past I just don't trust him.
We've only been seeing each other a short while but we've slept together a couple of times already and that's a big reason I'm so on edge because I never sleep with guys that quick and I'm really falling for this guy.
People are being very insensitive as well, every time I mention he's away with friends they raise an eyebrow and make comments about him going off with loads of girls. That's making me even more upset.
I'm really asking for some advice, I can't change who I am, I'm always going to worry but I just want a little reassurance and advice on how to get through the next week without driving myself insane with worse case scenarios like 'will he get in contact with me when he comes back' or 'has he cheated on me' etc.
If anyone can give me any advice it would be greatly appreciated!
Trust is a very important part in a relationship, if you don't have it, the relationship will not grow. I think you can change yourself but you have to be willing to do the hard work. Many people who have been hurt in the past, have a hard time trusting others. I believe you can do it but you have to be willing to take time to see why are you having a hard time trusting others and be willing to do the work. In the mean time, you should distract yourself by doing things you love with the people you enjoy doing these activities with. Like you mentioned, people are being insensitive when you tell them your guy is away with friends. I don't think that's being supportive when they really don't know what is really go on. Maybe you should not talk to these people about him or find people that are sensitive and helpful. Best!
unless you see someone lie and cheat and you have hard evidence you must trust them.if you keep bringing up the matter you simply unknowingly implant the cheating idea in his mind,that psychology.look people travel ok?
Usually people don't talk about stuff, if they think its going to happen. It's like saying the slightest thing about it is too close to the truth for them. It becomes a taboo subject because anyone who mentions anything remotely connected is putting their own integrity at stake and if anything did happen it would be their reputation that got sullied as well.
Thats why the wife is always the last to know and thinks everything was fine. Nobody remotely goes near the subject.
I realise its probably little consolation but the fact that people are mentioning it in various ways makes it a hugely less likely to happen.
other than that keep busy. do stuff that requires concentration.
"I can't change who I am," you can't but you can improve yourself. I'll be straight to the point and leave out the fluffy stuff.
Firstly if you didn't trust him how could you of slept with him so many times? That shows you that your heart does trust him but your mind doesn't because it is getting paranoid about your past relationship. If you carry on worrying about him cheating, he will do so then you actually have a reason for panicking so much. The more negative you are the more down hill your relationship will be. Be open minded he might not be like your ex's x
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