What Do I Do? And How Do I Do It?

Suddenly refusing sex is a bad sign. Something has changed, either within her, or with the two of you. You need to figure out what it is. Girls don't always like to say what it is, but you need to press her.

A massive thing you need to answer is whether she doesn't show affection in public or private (I understand the sex thing is obviously private) but other things? There is a massive difference between public and private affection.

Personally, I am someone who hates public affection. I don't know why, I just find it weird and it will take ALOT for me to show public affection (sure I'll hold hands, but I'll also not be bothered if I don't ). However, in private I'm someone who needs to adapt to a relationship to show affection. What also turns me off showing affection is if the guy is showing TOO much affection. If this is the case I just withdraw completely. Maybe you have to look at yourself and think about whether you are showing TOO much affection that you are suffocating her?

Another factor you mentioned is that she wasn't brought up in an affectionate family. Therefore she may have other ways to show she's interested, or cares, which aren't affectionate. If this is the case then relax completely and try to see how she does (maybe she uses words?) If this is so then appreciate how she shows she cares rather than expecting her to adapt to the norm you are used to.

Honestly, it sounds like you should just pull yourself away slightly. If you pressure her to show affection then she probably won't. Let her show the affection. If she is anything like me, eventually she will miss it and start to wonder what is going on. Don't be cold to her, but just try to show affection in a non-physical manner. As for sex, don't even mention it again, and see what happens. Don't go in expecting her to show affection, but be happy and encourage her if she does.

If you don't like the above option, then you could talk to her. Tell her it really hurts you that she doesn't show affection and why is this? If she really does care (and I'm sure she does), it'll hurt her to know it's hurting you. She should try to show affection, or increase in her methods so you know she cares!

Good luck!

Lol, I know this is going to sound funny, but you're not going to do anything.

I know now you're saying WTF, but it sounds like you both spend a lot of time together. But to make a relationship last and not burn out you have to want to do things for the one you love and not be expected to do things. That's when things seem to get predictable or routine, and it takes a lot of the enjoyment of it. That's why you just want to relax and don't put unnecessary pressure on the issue and if she does these things then it's because she chooses to and she doesn't feel pressured/expected to.

And it kind of sounds like she wants to see both of you hang out with your friends more. Just so that the lives between you and your friends and her and her friends and you and her all find a happy medium.

And I think maybe you should talk to her a little bit, lol, I know I said don't do anything and relax, but you want want to talk about what will make the relationship seem more fun and less predictable or routine.

You can do 1 of 2 things, 1) End this madness lol because a girlfriend who doesn't show ANY type of affection like your girl doesn't what's the point of going out? might as well be friends for that matter or 2) Stop giving her a lot of attention and see what she does, if she still stays distant from you then drop this girl I'm just throwing my opinion though but if anything do the second option

Idk that seems a bit weird. I wasn't raised a very affectionate person in my family (I call my parents by their first name and not mom and dad) and the last time I kissed them was probably when I was 7), but me and my girlfriend are all for feeling each other up.

Have you asked her if she doesn't like it because of what your doing because the "I'm not used to doing this" seems like a really poor excuse to cover up something else.