I'm the kind of person that when it comes to relationships, I want them to last. I never go into one thinking it's going to be a throw away after so long because I'll become bored with the person. Part of the reason for that is because around here, you have to spend at least a month chasing a girl before she'll even date you. You basically have to prove your worth to every single one of them, so if I'm willing to do that, I obviously really like the ones I go for, and obviously really want it to work out. A problem I've been facing though is that the girls around here can get the guys, if they choose to finally give them a shot, so instead of them sticking around with a guy, they're constantly moving on, even if the relationship is perfect.
For instance, my last girlfriend was great, it didn't really end badly, nor did we have anything bad during the relationship itself. We never ran out of things to talk about, we never had any fights, it was perfect. I got along with her family, she with mine, like I said, perfect. However, when it came down to it, she broke it off because at our age, she's basically figuring she's going to miss out on things by staying in one relationship. After that, things kind of went to hell between us. We're on good terms now, and as much as I'd like to, there's no chance of getting back with her in the end. Anyhow, what I'm looking for here is, how should I go about finding a girl that I'm really into that's not going to just cut and run because they're constantly wanting something new? I really don't feel like becoming emotionally attached to people, and getting crushed in the end because they're always wanting to be with someone new no matter how good the current relationship is. I realize that with time, they'll stop doing that, but honestly I'd rather find someone that's not going to wait forever to stop being this way.
AHHH! Finally someone (and it's a guy) who feels like me.or how I used to!
I must admit, throughout my life I just wanted to find a guy and for nothing to split us up. It was the idea of finding your 'true' love now and not having to worry about anything else.
However, I realised this 'fairy-tale' ideal I had of life was quite a rare ideal when it came to reality. It's not common to find your soul mate at 17, let alone anything younger. I know one couple who are my mother's friends who met at 15. Although they are still together, they did have an affair once (because the woman felt the man was taking her for granted, which he probably was.) I also know another couple who met at 18. Although they are once again happy, she always wish she met him when she was older.
So, what made me change my mind? My age and realisation of life. You and I are in our 'prime' (I guess). We're young and need to enjoy life! Although we (or I used to) want to settle down and enjoy life with this person, the thing is do you really want to? I know right now the answer is 'yes', but wait till you're older. Relationships are big strains on life, and sometimes stop you from just enjoying yourself.
Adolescents are young and immature and just want to have fun. This part of our life is about having fun! The point is we can find out now what we truly want from someone when we're older, and when we're ready we can settle down.
So to answer your quote: 'I really don't feel like becoming emotionally attached to people, and getting crushed in the end because they're always wanting to be with someone new no matter how good the current relationship is.' Unfortunately that will happen.lots! That's life! You need to be experienced before you can meet someone amazing, otherwise you won't know they are amazing!
I think I'll give you the advice I was given here to do with one of my questions. I think it was: 'why do guy's feelings just go?' And I think that is basically the same you're asking here (except role reversal). We're young. It is hard to find ANYONE who is committed now. To stop the loss of expectations, maybe we shouldn't aim for such serious relationships. Enjoy flings, enjoy the chase. Relax in other words. Don't go chasing miss right, let her come to you. Once you find her, you'll be so happy you waited! Otherwise you may be miss average, and completely miss your chance with miss right!
You just described what I've been trying to say to describe how I feel for a while now.
I feel the exact same way as the girls in your case do. I'm in a relationship right now and everything's going perfect. We love each other, we never have a boring moment, we can't stand not being around each other, I'm on the good-list with her family. But I just can't feel that I'm missing out on something. Some part of my life that I'll never get to have if I stay in the relationship for the long-term.
It's not that I don't love my girlfriend or even stopped loving her at any point, it's just the lust for the unknown and being scared of missing something that's out there.
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