Who do I choose?

Well your Boyfriend sounds a little like me this last fall. Lemmie tell ya a little bit bout my side of my story and it might tell ya a little bit bout him.

Well for me I was going out with my Ex for 3 years too. Now she was going to get her PHD and I was struggling to at least get my Bachelor degree. Well I was in a bind because The year before this last spring I wasn't able to get the loans necessary to go to a university. I waited until I was 24 and could be considered financial independent by the FAFSA. Well I was applying to a private university and was freaking out because I didn't know what financial aid I would get even though I was accepted. Well during this winter/spring I was worrying allot and did complain but she told me she didn't want to hear it. Well I kinda blew up at her and we got into it for a couple of weeks. The other problem is that she was 70mi away at school so it was hard to sit down and really talk to her about things.

Really I would ask if there has been a big change in your boyfriend's life.Really I have found girls allot less understanding of guys when they feel emotionally vulnerable and need comfort. Understand that allot of guys won't divulge there feelings unless they really trust the girl. I would also ask that are you willing to loose the 3 years of spent together? Also ask yourself what you see in the other guy vs what brought you together with your current BF. The only thing you can really do is sit your current Boyfriend down and tell him that you need to talk.Tell him that you aren't there to make any arguments or make him feel bad and that he needs to listen to you and not talk.You will have to be patient with him but tell him all of your concerns and what it is that is buggin you about him. My ex did this to me but then decided to break up after a week (no arguments or trouble for that week). The one thing I would suggest is that you don't start seeing this guy if you break up with your current Boyfriend but if you do don't lead him on and just tell him.You aren't protecting his feelings but yours.

If I was to say one thing to you or anyone else that finds them in this situation I would say that you will always meet someone that will make you feel better about yourself at certain times in a relationship. I realized this with my Ex because there were times she could be a complete bitch and other girls that seemed to be better at the time but decided I would stick with it and guess what? I felt closer to her after I got through the hard times.If you keep on finding people to comfort you and moving to them while having problems with your boyfriend's then you won't be able to get married. Love & relationships take sacrifice and work.Couples are not always having fun and such but really look at the last 3 years of your relationship and see if you were always arguing.if not then there is a reason and you can help him over come those problems.

This sounds more like a "grass is greener" situation than anything else.

You mention your boyfriends behavior like it has changed over time. Is it possible you did something that triggered his jealousy?

You don't have to tell us, but you should consider it if it's possible.

If you're unhappy in your current relationship you need to confront your partner, or end it. There's no two ways about it.

Regarding the old flame, if you are truly upset over your current situation, then you need to take time for yourself to heal. It may be a long, long time. Only you know how hurt you feel.

If you jump right into another relationship, you'll still have lingering pain from the last one, while trying to give undivided attention to the new one. This never works.

In conclusion, I'd say you need to sit and do some really hard thinking about what you want in life, and how you trully propose to fix it. Nothing comes easy.

It seems like you having a better time with your guy friend than your actual boyfriend. You guy friend is the one that wants you, takes care of you, pushes you up while your boyfriend brings you down, and yells at you. Where's the fun in that?

If I were you, I wouldn't take it too fast with your guy friend--don't immediately go for him! List some more pros of your boyfriend. If you've been with him for that long, there must've been something that made you stay with him!

Just lay on your bed or go driving around the mountains or even go to the beach! Hey, Its summer after all. Anyways, think about your past, look back at your best and so not best memories. Then come back to reality and make your decision!

-gl

You know what .
I was just dumped, literally an hour ago .
and this is how I felt . Not her, me.
Talk about it, say give it a week , and in that week, you have reallllly gotta try and shape it all up.
Hopefully, this time next week, you'll be smiling.
But otherwise, End it and try to forget it before you end up crying.

Pray about it. Let God make the choice for you. He will make it clear and do it in a way that leaves you knowing you didn't make a mistake, rather than wondering for the rest of your life. You can even give God a specific test, without telling either about it, and see what happens. Look at Genesis 24, Judges 6-7 and 1Samuel 14 and see how God was able to make things happen the way the people submitted to him asked.

My comment back was getting too long so I'm responding again!

Sometimes it's necessary to love and care for a person from a far. I still have a "love" for each of my ex's meaning I wouldn't trade the memories, but there comes a time when it may be time to move on. People come in & out of your life, ya know? You're at an age where you're becoming an adult and starting to find yourself. Like the club thing. That's something you probably haven't done in the past- and you should be able to experience it without risking hurting someone's feelings.

I thought I'd marry the guy I was with at 18, we said we'd never breakup and always be together. Saying something like that almost put pressure on us to make us think we had to stay together, even though we knew we were growing apart. When I thought about getting REALLY serious with him I realized he didn't really have the traits I wanted. We went our separate ways- there was some heart ache, but it's what was the right and mature thing to do.

I don't think you need to drop boyfriend and run off to guy friend. Why do you need to hop from one guy to another? Maybe just take some time to be young and silly. Make out with a random hot guy, flirt a little, enjoy this time in your life. Get to a point where you realize you don't need a guy to be happy :)

Relationships take work, but if it's going no where fast- you can't force feelings that are fading.

Sounds to me that you need to let that boyfriend go. You have not mentioned any positives for being with him. Also that guy friends seems like a gem.

I'd go after him!

Good luck!

I really hate when someone knows you're in a relationship and they decide to spill their feelings because it puts you in an awkward position and makes you feel like you have to choose.

The facts are girls love to feel wanted, like they're needed. If we're not getting that attention from the one we're with we easily gravitate towards those who make us feel that way. What we forget is no matter how great the guy seems there's another girl somewhere else who's sick of his crap :)

I know the guy friend seems like the obvious option, but at the 3 year mark in a relationship you have to step back and ask yourself where you see the current relationship going. You're 18 so you're still pretty young. Is your boyfriend the guy you picture yourself settling down with? What benefits are there to gain by staying with him- meaning does he really compliment you when he's not going through some weird mood? What traits and qualities does he have that show he'd be a good husband/father down the road? Those type of questions- the ones that are sometimes more difficult to answer/come to terms with what your next move should be. Whether or not guy friend were in the picture I'd say this evaluation of your current relationship still needs to be done- take guy friend totally out of the equation for a minute and talk to some girlfriends or someone who's opinion you trust to give you some feedback.

Good luck making your decision.