Recently, my boyfriend and I hit our big one year, my father had no idea until a couple of months ago where my dad thought he was just my date for prom and instead, realized it was a little bit more than that. Further on, he came over for dinners and finally my dad let him in the house to hang out with me. For an Israeli father, that's a HUGE step. Last night I told my boyfriend to come over to hang out, he's a drummer and right now he's committed himself to his long-time band and was at the studio until late. I could completely understand and didn't pressure him to come over. Instead, he said himself, he would come over the next night to hang out with me. The next morning he told me he was at work and was going on to hang out with his friends and then he would come over. After all, he didn't make plans with me for the whole entire day, I work anyways. Further more, I caught up with him in the evening and told me he was still at his friends and invited me over there, I declined because my dad was getting upset that I was always partying, so I decided to hang low for the last couple of days. I explained this to him and he still asked me. I sacraficed the anger from my dad to go hang out with him and his friends. Continously through the night he had been drinking and I figured then on, that he wasn't going to come over after all and that I would have waited at home, even though I was staying home anyways. He then made plans for the casino and that's when I left.
I don't understand, he doesn't even know why I was upset, he had no idea. And later assumes it's for a completely different reason. HELP?
Let's not over think things. That's every girl's biggest problem. He was just hanging out with his friends and that's alright. You and him don't need to spend everyday together, or be so dependent on each other. If he does this for days and hardly acknowledges your feelings then go talk to him about it.
The guy sounds like a charmer. However, he took it as, the invitation that is, that this relationship is getting too serious, and not sure he is ready for that. You sounds pretty level headed. As much as it hurts, I would let my dad know that this relationship was based on friends hanging out, nothing physical happened, and the guy isn't ready for such a huge commitment, and you've assessed the past with him and your okay to go forward.
In any circumstance, assure your dad everything is okay. Don't take it personally though. I would still believe the guy liked you alot, just not ready to cement the next step. Let him know what you believe, yes, your feelings were hurt, then leave.
It is hard to turn your back like that in a way, but you're not being mean-just go on with your new life. Good Luck!
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: A month ago
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