Should I divorce?

Well, I wouldn't play the divorce card willy nilly sans more input/information from him. What I'd do is sit down and talk with him. Even though it sounds like you have already tried, his excuse/reason is suspect to me since he was obviously talking about his "problem" (with you) to another girl. If he can talk to another girl about such things, he can definitely talk to you (his wife) about them. A few points that I would suggest covering:

1. I'd mention you overheard him talking to this girl and ask him about what he said. I'd ask him:
A. Why he isn't sexually attracted to you.
B. Why was he discussing it with another girl, especially since, according to him, "everyone should basically deal with their own problems.
If his motives aren't pure, or he's just a complete douchebag, I'll bet you ten to one he'll say "Oh, I didn't mean it" or "I was just kidding." That's not something you kid about. Regardless of his reasons for saying such things, I'd let him know how it makes you feel by him saying these things, especially to someone else and (presumably) behind your back.

2. I'd suggest sitting down and talking about your guy's issues and open up (both of you) about your thoughts and feelings on your relationship.

3. You might try counseling. I know I'm violating Man Law by stating this, and risk getting my membership revoked and a beating out back. ;P I'd suggest a professional,but if that's not an option maybe having an innocent third party (who knows what they're doing) as a mediator could help. It just sounds like you both have issues (his talking behind your back, your self image, the intimate time) that need brought to the surface.

If he's unwilling to do any of the above, dismisses your concerns outright, or just flat out insults you, then you might consider divorce. I just think that there's a few steps that you might both try first.

My only other concern is more of a curious quandary.how in the heck did you have kids if he's not seen ya bare? :)

Been together for 10 years? So you got together between 15 and 19; this sounds like a recipe for disaster. Neither of you know who you are. I'm not surprised you're having issues.

Get rid of this asshole, if he loved you he would make you feel loved and give you the reassurance you needed, every girl feels insecure from time to time, get a guy who will show you love and give you the best f***ing of your life

If he is telling some strange woman that he isn't sexually attracted to you, are you sure he isn't cheating? It sounds like that just rolled off of his tongue WAY too easy for this to have been his first time saying it to try and get a sympathy fukk!

Also, he has left the relationship already emotionally it seems. Instead of trying to encourage you to be yourself around him, he basically doesn't want to see it. So, I would dump him.

It's hard I know but with you guys only having sex once a month, he HAS to be getting it somewhere else and that is grounds to call it quits!

Good luck!

Ay ay ay, girl, this is serious! But don't lose hope. ALL marriages go through rough patches, and the thing that will decide which way to go is how hard BOTH of you are willing to work for it. You are the mother of his children, and you two have been together for a long time. That means you have already gone through a lot together and you probably understand each other really well. If you BOTH give it a shot and want it to work, it can almost certainly be saved.

Maybe he is embarrassed to communicate. Even though you are insecure, maybe if you act more confident he will feel more confident opening up. Try to turn him on a little, go the extra step with some "special nights." Take the kids to grandma's so you can have him all to yourself. Maybe start blowing him in the mornings like 3-4 times a week-- a good start to the day and it will help him not to cheat if he's already satisfied with you. Be inventive and confident, but not desperate. Once the physical intimacy is renewed, maybe he will feel less tense and you can start talking about things.

BUT there are questions. Is he cheating on you? If he is, can you deal with it or would you leave him? Some marriages survive affairs and some do not. AND why don't you feel comfortable being naked around him? No matter what you look like, you are the #1 woman, the woman he CHOSE, so don't feel like you are not pretty/sexy enough for him. Sounds like you two might be good candidates for marital counseling. You might suggest that once the lines of communication are open again. Hope this helps!