I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. When his married friends ask him if he is starting to get bored or whatever, he always tells them I am the type who keeps him interested. He says he's never felt bored, and that I keep him on his toes. Iv over heard him a couple of times, and id be happy if he really meant everything. The problem is, I'm starting to feel bored. I can't tell him because I don't want to hurt his feelings. Iv tried spending a couple of days without him, and we've agreed to see each other only on the weekends. But after a day of not seeing me, he is calling, and next thing I know he is at my door, doing the puppy eyes. I love that he loves me this much, and likes spending every minute with me. I'd just like to know what we/I can do to make our relationship more interesting. Every weekend we hang out at beaches, drive out of town, and do all the cool stuff. But sometimes I enjoy talking to other people more, rather than with him. I know it's mean, and that's why I want to know what I can do to fix this. Plus, I have a feeling (even if he says all that good stuff about me) that he is getting bored too.
We ate out last night and I suggested we sit at the bar counter. I was talking to him about work. But I noticed he was more into someone else's conversation. This female bartender was talking to some guys beside us, and my boyfriend was listening to her, and seemed like he wanted to join in and converse with her. I'm not jealous, I just felt like the boring person. :( and its not like they were talking about anything interesting. It was just about some old man they saw on TV.
It seems to me, after reading the history between you two, that you only go places and do things. even when you're doing the "fun stuff" it's never together. You need to find some activities where you interact more socially, and where dialogue is included. Laying on the beach or going for drinks at a bar all the time can only be so engaging. I'm surprised you've been having fun doing that for so many years.
Look for some interest groups and join clubs or find new activities would be my advice. I think you'll find that you are not bored with each other, but bored with your routine.
I know. Iv tried telling him about it. that we never really spend time "together". He thinks being around each other is "spending time". But I still feel so distant. We would be at home, and id be cleaning up the kitchen, while hez watching tv. And at dinner, we're usually just watching tv. Not doing much talking. Iv told him about this problem.. but he doesn't seem to understand. And I felt like I was being a brat for asking so much from him... I don't know what to do. - 4 months ago
Answerer
You may not know what to do, but you know what you want. A deeper connection. Now you just need to figure out how to get there, and hopefully it will be with this guy you've spent so many years with. Have you thought about couples counseling at all? Maybe even the mere mention of it will wake him up and he might realize that you're truly concerned. - 4 months ago
You both need to start doing activities separately. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It's not about finding new things between the two of you or trying new activities to spice up the relationship. It's about looking around the world and finding other people who are also interesting but who you'll see are nothing like the person you love. The trick is to keep the other person in your mind, other wise it can easily become wandering and dissolve into a recipe for unpleasantness.
So next time you say you want to spend a couple days without him, try to set it up that you'll be doing something those days, whether it's going out of town with friends or working on a project. Encourage him to do the same and the time apart can strengthen the relationship.
idk what 2 do me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 4mths and he's getting bored am I doing something thats not rite?he tells me he loves me...
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I have a problem….i think my boyfriend is getting really bored with me.I’m trying not to panic, but he’s starting to talk to other girls, some of...
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