I met this Guy back in 05 in english class in college. we have dated ever since till april 08. well, I messed up the relationship by getting a little drunk and throwing something at him. I don't blame him for leaving me, but this was good on my part too. This made me sit down and think of how selfish I was in almost 4 years. I use to think that by being needy, jealous, and wanting him up my butt 24-7 would make him love me more. But then I started to hate who he had become, but he turned into the man I made him to be! when that isn't the man I fell in love with. Now after being split up for 3 months, I have learned that I don't need to be needy, bitchy, jealous, controlling to get him to love me. I have learned, that I was insecure and didn't trust myself and that was flowing into our relationship and I didn't stop to see that he wasn't happy.,. my question is, how do I get him back. he knows I still love him, and I understand that he is scared of getting hurt again, which I don't blame him at all. but I took a deep check into my life and how I was living it with him, and I realized he was a good one that I was truly in love with. How do I get him back?
One step at a time. First step is talking to him. Don't even consider dating him until you both are good friends again. He won't trust you at first, but if you talk with him enough, if you show him you've changed over weeks and weeks, he will probably try and make another effort.
You both invested a lot in a few year relationship, I think it could work out again.
Also, congratulations on figuring out what you had done and become. It isn't often people realize they themselves are the problem. Most people just blame it on someone else forever.
I know this question is quite old.. I am going through the exact same situation right now! .. I was too needy and I think it overwhelmed my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) and he left me.. we date for 2 years and lived together for 8 months.. I lost sight of what I had right in front of me and how great he truly was. I agree with all the answers that have been posted.. just curious how this turned out for you? The best advice I have been given is to give lots of space and to work on a friendship first. I hope this worked out for you!
I think you should move slow and just try to show him you've changed. Try to spend time with him slowly and do dates. Basically start over slow and build his trust in you back up. Good luck! If it's meant to be it will be.
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